"Finding Pleasure In All Their Simple Joys, Remembering Her Own Child-Life, And The Happy Summer Days...”

Tonight I turned on my favorite country station and began to pack my bags to head back to Kentucky. Tomorrow is my last day in Colorado and I can't help but think how fast time has gone since I have been here. I folded up my Spartan Finisher shirt and smiled, thinking back to my very first Sunday in the Springs, and held the medals in my hand that I had won that day...traces of dried mud still remained. It's a bittersweet feeling.  I came out to Colorado accomplishing so much. I learned new things about myself and built a stronger relationship with God and my sister and her beautiful family. As my time here comes to an end I feel thankful and blessed along with so many other emotions.

Today as Diana recovers from getting her wisdom teeth taken out, I had a 'Jo Jo and girls' day with Sarah and Carolyn. I surprised them and took them to a magic show, then took them to play in the fountain at the park and ended our little girls day with ice cream from Cold Stone. Needless to say, they were two pretty happy girls.

Since we were young Diana and I have always been partners in crime. I think that my favorite part about my trip to Colorado is that I have grown and become a better person because of my older sister. As we get older we have friends who come and go. Old friends, new friends, coworkers, the guy whose cubicle is right next to yours, the woman who says hi to you every morning at Starbucks...every person we meet in our life has an impact on us. However, there is no kind of impact, like the one from a sister. A sister who has seen me at my worst, and now at my best...she has been by my side no matter what and has always reassured me that things do in fact get better. She hasn't guided me wrong yet.

I have used a lot of Alice in Wonderland quotes in this blog series because I feel like we can all relate to Alice in one way or another. Just as her life is full of good and bad choices, so are ours. However, as the story goes Alice learns her lesson and ultimately becomes a better person. I want everyone to take the challenge that I did. I want you to take chances, make choices whether they are good or bad and learn from them. I challenge you to dust off your moral compass and go for an adventure. Find pleasure in the simple things and be thankful for the times you get to spend with your family, friends and yourself.

See you soon, Kentucky. :)

Jeremiah 29:11

Happiness.

Some people have it, others spend their whole lives looking for it. Happiness isn't hard to obtain, you just have to have faith.

Today my eyes filled with tears as I watched my oldest niece put all of her trust in God. Today, Sarah was baptized. She climbed into the baptismal with a smile on her face, and as she was emerged under water the church in unison said, "Bye Sarah!" When brought back above water, smiling ear to ear, she was glowing with happiness. I was proud of her for making such a big decision at a young age, but I think I was more proud of the fact that she could tell you exactly why she wanted to get baptized. After church Carolyn went up to Sarah and said "I am so proud of you." 

There is one thing that I pride myself and Diana for and that is if there is ever anything negative to happen, we see it as an opportunity to make it into something positive. This morning we woke up as we have for the past month to attend our 8 a.m. yoga class. When we got to the gym, the instructor had forgot her key, which meant we wouldn't have been able to do yoga in the room that we usually practice in. Diana and I exchanged looks and proposed an outdoor yoga class in the America The Beautiful Park. Instead of going on with our day without a yoga class, we ended up having one of the best yoga classes I have experienced. With fresh air, a cool breeze and pretty much mastering our arm balances, we walked out of the park this morning radiating nothing but happiness.

 

The other day Diana and I were talking about everything that we have learned from each other since I got out here. Coming into my last week in Colorado Springs, I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I think that not only will I come out of this a better person, but also someone that is no longer scared to try new things. I started thinking earlier about this whole "finding myself in my twenties" thing. When I decided to come to Colorado a couple of months ago I was set out to figure out what exactly I wanted in life, who exactly I was. Exactly a month later, I have decided that I don't really want to be 'found.' In the past month I have stepped completely out of my comfort zone and have done things I never thought I would do. When you play hide and seek, the thrill of this simple game is searching. Once you are found, the game is over. I have decided that I am in love with the thrill of seeking. I will no longer hide from things that I am scared of but keep on searching because God has a plan for me. He has plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. As long as I believe that, as long as I have faith in him, happiness will prevail.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Started From The Bottom, Now We're Here

Today was a day full of memories. I put on my American Flag shirt in honor of Memorial Day, laced my tennis shoes and headed to the Manitou Incline, to do something I should've finished a couple of years ago. If you ask anyone that is close to me they will tell you I am a completely different person than I was two years ago, and I would whole heartedly agree. At 22 I was in and out of a toxic relationship with a guy I thought had hung the moon. Being too naive to see that he was bringing me down instead of up, I held on to what I thought was something good for me. Everyone around me saw that I was slowly losing myself in the thought of someone else, so my dad packed my bags and him and I came to Colorado Springs to visit Diana for a week in November. That week I was glued to my phone waiting for a phone call I never ended up getting. My dad and sister tried everything to get the 'young, wild and free' Bonnie back so they decided to take me to the Manitou Incline. I was so consumed with everything that I had left back in Kentucky I didn't care about putting any energy into anything, after all every bit of my energy was invested in him. As they hiked the incline, I sat at the bottom defeated in more ways than one.

Two years later I wouldn't have recognized that girl. Today as I got to the top of the incline I smiled because I knew at that moment that I am a stronger person now than I have ever been.

   

Loving and believing in yourself is one of the most important things that you can do. We have all been there. At one point in our lives we have let someone else dictate the way that we feel about ourselves and those around us. We have let someone tell us that we aren't good enough, that we aren't pretty enough, that we aren't strong enough, and we believed them. Then one day, you wake up and realize that you are everything that you thought you weren't.

                                 

Finishing the Incline with Diana and the two girls was something I will always remember. Sarah practically ran the entire thing, and Carolyn had to take a few more breaks but for a four year old she made it to the top so well that everyone was talking about how resilient the girls were. It makes me so happy that Diana is raising her girls to believe that they are awesome, that they are strong, and beautiful and inspiring. Nothing is impossible to them, and it makes me smile to see them turning into such amazing young ladies.

“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." <3

Living Life One Check Mark To The Next

Two Saturdays from now I will be on my way home to Kentucky! This morning after a Team WOD at Crossfit with Diana I thought to myself, "Who is going to do this crazy stuff with me once I get back home?"

It's weird to think that I lived my life any other way than I have been for the past few weeks. Just by living a healthy lifestyle I am happier, I feel better, and I no longer worry about things that I can not control. One thing, however, that I can control is the way that I look and feel about myself. 

It has been a battle. There have been days that I have wanted to give up right in the middle of dead lifts or what feels like a thousand burpees, but I haven't and I don't plan on it.

Diana, Tomi Jean, Dexter and I have signed up for our first race together once we get back! It is all for fun, but it is the first thing that us kids have done together in a long time. The Tap N Run in Louisville is June 14th and we will be dressing up as 'Walking Holidays.' I am really excited that not only am I doing it with my favorite people, but we are going to look awesome AND there is beer at every mile marker...plus you get a cool medal at the end of the race that is also a beer opener. Talk about a double whammy!

For Memorial Day Diana, the girls and I are hiking the Manitou Incline...if you aren't sure what that is, check it out.

It climbs 2,000 vertical feet over Manitou Springs, and is one of the most challenging hiking trails in Colorado. My parents have successfully made it to the top when they have come out to visit, so now it is my turn! I am really excited to mark this one off my bucket list!

My Colorado bucket list is getting smaller and once the last thing is marked off I will be bringing out the next one to start back in Kentucky....living life one check mark to the next. :)

Woe Is Me?

I guess you could say I have the case of the Mondays. Half way through my time in the Springs and I am starting to freak out a little bit about what path I should take when I return to Kentucky. Since January I have told myself that God has a plan for me. I pray that he will guide me in the right direction and open doors in my life. I'm not losing faith in his plan, because I know that if I trust in him then doors will open, but if you know me...I lack patience.

Have you ever played Mario World and end up in the room with 7 doors surrounding you? Depending on which one you open there is either a surprise or a tragedy behind the closed doors. Not knowing which one is which, you go with your gut and pick.

In a perfect world, not in Mario World, all of those doors would open and have exactly what you were looking for behind it. In 'Bonnie's World' I'm standing in a room surrounded by doors, throwing my hands up in the air because I just want them all to open and everything fall perfectly into place.

Have I lost you yet? If so, bare with me.

They say that doors open and close in your life for different reasons. I actually think I have said this on multiple occasions. However, I also believe that if you work hard, then you should be rewarded. I'm in the summer of my 24th year. A year out of college, spending every night sending out resumes, making phone calls, and networking so that I can begin and keep on pursuing what I want to do, which is write.  The closest thing I have to a relationship is my date with the gym after a work day...a year out of college and into the 'real world' and nothing really makes sense.

Woe is me?

There will be days like this. There will be days that I'll be discouraged and ready to give up. There will be days that I think that I need to change my career. There will be days that I ask myself why am I not dating anyone. The good thing is...these days are few.

The first night that I went to the church here in Colorado Springs the preacher started a new series called 'Writing A New Story.' Which was pretty ironic, don't you think? In the last sermon he told the story of David and Goliath. David is successful not because he is the better warrior, because he clearly was the underdog, David doesn't win for any reason other than the fact that he knows whose story it really is.

"Gods story through me is better than any story mine will ever be."

I have been trying to write my own story, trying to live life the way that I think it should be. God has another plan...and no matter how long it might take for that plan to become clear, I have faith that it is far better than the one that I would write for myself.

All of your problems may seem as big as Goliath, but live for God and you can overcome anything. Always have faith.

You Can Take The Girl Out Of The Country, But You Can't Take The Country Out Of The Girl

Last night instead of slipping into our yoga pants and going for a run, we decided to paint the town red.  When Diana asked me where I wanted to go, I asked if there was a 'honky tonk' in Colorado Springs. The next thing I know, David, Diana and I were walking into a place called Cowboys.

Being from Kentucky, I thought I knew what a 'honky tonk' was, turns out I had no clue. Every song had its own line dance...every line dance had cowboys. These cowboys wore the tight jeans, flannel shirts, boots, authentic cowboy hats and had the moves to prove that they knew exactly how to giddy up.

The gentleman above took time out of his night to teach me how to line dance. Hours of 'right, left, right' and twirling later I felt like I needed to have my boots on too. No matter where you are from or where you go, there will always be a place that reminds you of home. 

We didn't know a single person in that place last night yet we had the best time with each other. We laughed, sang, danced, and acted like there wasn't a care in the world. It's important to do that sometimes. It's important to get dressed up, to feel pretty, to drink fireball like you're 21. It's important to learn how to dance from strangers and act 100% like yourself because who cares what anyone else thinks. It's important to make memories, spend time with family and laugh so hard you wish you would've worn waterproof mascara. 

"Life's a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow."

Good, Better, Best, Never Let It Rest...

Whenever I am in the middle of a workout and I think I am too tired to finish, or begin to write and suffer from a block, I think back to what my brother used to tell me every time I would complain about something being too hard.

"Good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is your better and your better is your best."

No matter what my family has always motivated one another to go that extra mile. Dexter doesn't believe in quitting, Diana doesn't believe in the word can't, Tomi Jean believes that if you dream it you can achieve it, my mom has always been right beside all of us as the head cheerleader when we feel like giving up, and my dad makes sure to give us a little tough love which results in us working harder. 

Without them, my own personal cheering section, I probably wouldn't be writing. I wouldn't be a 'finisher' of a Spartan Race. I wouldn't have believed that I could pack my bags and take off to Colorado. I wouldn't have went to college. I wouldn't believe in myself.

One of the biggest lessons that I have learned is that surrounding yourself with people who believe in you makes the world of difference. I once was someone who thought that having 'X' amount of friends was important. Now I know that having a handful of good people who support my crazy ideas and sometimes even take part in them are the ones who I need to have by my side, in my cheering section. 

You are only as strong, smart, happy, or beautiful as you believe that you are. Once you begin to realize that you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to. Then and only then will your good become your better and your better...your best.