Shake It Off

Last night I decided to change my alarm so that when it went off at 5:15 a.m. I wouldn't want to throw it across the room. I wanted to change it to something so that when I woke up from my slumber, I'd automatically want to dance. Naturally, I downloaded T Swifts new song.

I'm sure everyone has heard it, and if you haven't then you really are missing out on one of the greatest songs made recently. Taylor has made a point to let everyone know that she really could care less what they think about her, and she encourages us all to do the same.

This morning when my alarm went off, I didn't hit snooze. I tossed back the covers and sang to myself, "and the haters gunna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate."

Little did I know, that song was going to get me through the next 12 hours at my job. The commute to Richmond wasn't bad, I listened to the morning gossip on the radio as I sipped on my gas station hazelnut coffee blend that I had to put ice cubes in just so I could drink. I got to work early so I could get a head start on my work so that I could have an easy Friday...because I mean really, who doesn't love an easy Friday.

My day was going great, I wrote an article on Corey Kenton, a country music singer from Madison County, and interviewed a Breast Cancer survivor to feature in tomorrow's paper. Then, my coworker came in and informed me about a man that was at the meeting she had just left asking for me. A little side note-last week I was at a city forum meeting and a man approached me accusing me of not taking my job seriously. He said I looked bored in the meetings and that I wasn't taking notes. I really wanted to say, it's 2014, I use a recorder not a notebook, and in a 2 hour meeting who really looks excited?...But I refrained from saying anything, smiled, nodded and gave him a firm hand shake before I left the room. I never caught his name, because he said 'It wasn't important.' 

After the second time this man without a name accused me of not taking my job seriously, I asked him if he had seen any problems in my articles, and if he had to please point them out to me so that I can do better in the future for not only him, but the whole community. He had no complaints, except for the way that I did my job.

For those who know me I am a very outspoken person, but I have gotten better. I know that I enjoy my job, my boss thinks I am 'top notch,' and the people who read the forums and meetings that I cover have not complained. So why did one guy make me think twice about my career choice? (He said that 'he knew' I didn't want to be a journalist, which makes me LOL still.) 

I am really not bothered by the words that this man has said to me or my coworker in the past couple of weeks, I just think that it's crazy that he feels entitled to tell me how to do my job, especially if he can't even tell me his name. I have learned a lot about life while being a journalist, but the most important thing that I have learned is you just have to shake. it. off.

So today, I turned up Taylor Swift, did a hair flip, and prepared for an event that I will cover tonight. I hope I don't look too bored.

Never The Wife, Always The Mistress

I am sure that being in a relationship is one of the hardest things that someone can do in this point in time. There are so many options. If your significant other upsets you one day, you could just log into "insert one of the million of social networking possibilities" and find someone else to pacify your time until the one you are with stops being so 'crazy.' In my opinion though, being single is a lot more challenging.

There was once a time when I thought that love was a thing. That if you 'found the right person' then the rest of your life would somehow fall magically into place. In the last year, I have realized that this whole being in a relationship thing isn't what it's all cracked up to be.

Now, I am sure that some of you are going to read this and think that I am just a bitter 24 year old girl, which is half true. But since the last 'boyfriend' I had two years ago, being on the market has lead me to believe that nobody will ever be satisfied. Whether it's because they are selfish, insecure, or all of the above.

'Never the wife, always the mistress,' came to my mind when I thought about my relationship status in the past two years. It's not that extreme, I don't break up homes or sleep with people who are married. However, for some reason, I'm the girl the guys with the 'perfect' girlfriends call when they are having an off day. I'm the kind of girl that believes that I shouldn't have to wreck a home to have a relationship though, so I carry on with my day like these phone calls never happen. BUT, what about the girls who aren't like me? What about the girls who act on the phone calls and late night texts and stroke the so called 'mans' ego?

I have heard it all. Those who cheat, men and women both, are really good at what they do. It's like an art almost. They know how to have their cake and eat it too, which is impressive. I've been on both sides of the fence, I know how this works. 

I was once the girlfriend who put everything into a relationship, and was so blind at the thought of 'love' that I didn't see him sleeping with 3 girls behind my back. I mean, I didn't want to be the girl that was paranoid about guys nights...but maybe I should've been. 

I have also been the single, free spirit with a wild heart girl that when the road gets a little bumpy, and their love life gets a little boring, they call me because 'I know how to have fun.'

I don't want to be either one of those girls, though. I don't think anyone does. Life is already hard enough. We have to pay bills, stay fit, have a social life, overcome fears, work our ass off just to have a little fun...we shouldn't have to worry if the person we come home to every night is thinking about someone else when we aren't looking.

But, I guess that's just the way it is.

Happy Hump Day.

-

"Finding Pleasure In All Their Simple Joys, Remembering Her Own Child-Life, And The Happy Summer Days...”

Tonight I turned on my favorite country station and began to pack my bags to head back to Kentucky. Tomorrow is my last day in Colorado and I can't help but think how fast time has gone since I have been here. I folded up my Spartan Finisher shirt and smiled, thinking back to my very first Sunday in the Springs, and held the medals in my hand that I had won that day...traces of dried mud still remained. It's a bittersweet feeling.  I came out to Colorado accomplishing so much. I learned new things about myself and built a stronger relationship with God and my sister and her beautiful family. As my time here comes to an end I feel thankful and blessed along with so many other emotions.

Today as Diana recovers from getting her wisdom teeth taken out, I had a 'Jo Jo and girls' day with Sarah and Carolyn. I surprised them and took them to a magic show, then took them to play in the fountain at the park and ended our little girls day with ice cream from Cold Stone. Needless to say, they were two pretty happy girls.

Since we were young Diana and I have always been partners in crime. I think that my favorite part about my trip to Colorado is that I have grown and become a better person because of my older sister. As we get older we have friends who come and go. Old friends, new friends, coworkers, the guy whose cubicle is right next to yours, the woman who says hi to you every morning at Starbucks...every person we meet in our life has an impact on us. However, there is no kind of impact, like the one from a sister. A sister who has seen me at my worst, and now at my best...she has been by my side no matter what and has always reassured me that things do in fact get better. She hasn't guided me wrong yet.

I have used a lot of Alice in Wonderland quotes in this blog series because I feel like we can all relate to Alice in one way or another. Just as her life is full of good and bad choices, so are ours. However, as the story goes Alice learns her lesson and ultimately becomes a better person. I want everyone to take the challenge that I did. I want you to take chances, make choices whether they are good or bad and learn from them. I challenge you to dust off your moral compass and go for an adventure. Find pleasure in the simple things and be thankful for the times you get to spend with your family, friends and yourself.

See you soon, Kentucky. :)

Jeremiah 29:11

Happiness.

Some people have it, others spend their whole lives looking for it. Happiness isn't hard to obtain, you just have to have faith.

Today my eyes filled with tears as I watched my oldest niece put all of her trust in God. Today, Sarah was baptized. She climbed into the baptismal with a smile on her face, and as she was emerged under water the church in unison said, "Bye Sarah!" When brought back above water, smiling ear to ear, she was glowing with happiness. I was proud of her for making such a big decision at a young age, but I think I was more proud of the fact that she could tell you exactly why she wanted to get baptized. After church Carolyn went up to Sarah and said "I am so proud of you." 

There is one thing that I pride myself and Diana for and that is if there is ever anything negative to happen, we see it as an opportunity to make it into something positive. This morning we woke up as we have for the past month to attend our 8 a.m. yoga class. When we got to the gym, the instructor had forgot her key, which meant we wouldn't have been able to do yoga in the room that we usually practice in. Diana and I exchanged looks and proposed an outdoor yoga class in the America The Beautiful Park. Instead of going on with our day without a yoga class, we ended up having one of the best yoga classes I have experienced. With fresh air, a cool breeze and pretty much mastering our arm balances, we walked out of the park this morning radiating nothing but happiness.

 

The other day Diana and I were talking about everything that we have learned from each other since I got out here. Coming into my last week in Colorado Springs, I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I think that not only will I come out of this a better person, but also someone that is no longer scared to try new things. I started thinking earlier about this whole "finding myself in my twenties" thing. When I decided to come to Colorado a couple of months ago I was set out to figure out what exactly I wanted in life, who exactly I was. Exactly a month later, I have decided that I don't really want to be 'found.' In the past month I have stepped completely out of my comfort zone and have done things I never thought I would do. When you play hide and seek, the thrill of this simple game is searching. Once you are found, the game is over. I have decided that I am in love with the thrill of seeking. I will no longer hide from things that I am scared of but keep on searching because God has a plan for me. He has plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. As long as I believe that, as long as I have faith in him, happiness will prevail.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Started From The Bottom, Now We're Here

Today was a day full of memories. I put on my American Flag shirt in honor of Memorial Day, laced my tennis shoes and headed to the Manitou Incline, to do something I should've finished a couple of years ago. If you ask anyone that is close to me they will tell you I am a completely different person than I was two years ago, and I would whole heartedly agree. At 22 I was in and out of a toxic relationship with a guy I thought had hung the moon. Being too naive to see that he was bringing me down instead of up, I held on to what I thought was something good for me. Everyone around me saw that I was slowly losing myself in the thought of someone else, so my dad packed my bags and him and I came to Colorado Springs to visit Diana for a week in November. That week I was glued to my phone waiting for a phone call I never ended up getting. My dad and sister tried everything to get the 'young, wild and free' Bonnie back so they decided to take me to the Manitou Incline. I was so consumed with everything that I had left back in Kentucky I didn't care about putting any energy into anything, after all every bit of my energy was invested in him. As they hiked the incline, I sat at the bottom defeated in more ways than one.

Two years later I wouldn't have recognized that girl. Today as I got to the top of the incline I smiled because I knew at that moment that I am a stronger person now than I have ever been.

   

Loving and believing in yourself is one of the most important things that you can do. We have all been there. At one point in our lives we have let someone else dictate the way that we feel about ourselves and those around us. We have let someone tell us that we aren't good enough, that we aren't pretty enough, that we aren't strong enough, and we believed them. Then one day, you wake up and realize that you are everything that you thought you weren't.

                                 

Finishing the Incline with Diana and the two girls was something I will always remember. Sarah practically ran the entire thing, and Carolyn had to take a few more breaks but for a four year old she made it to the top so well that everyone was talking about how resilient the girls were. It makes me so happy that Diana is raising her girls to believe that they are awesome, that they are strong, and beautiful and inspiring. Nothing is impossible to them, and it makes me smile to see them turning into such amazing young ladies.

“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." <3

Living Life One Check Mark To The Next

Two Saturdays from now I will be on my way home to Kentucky! This morning after a Team WOD at Crossfit with Diana I thought to myself, "Who is going to do this crazy stuff with me once I get back home?"

It's weird to think that I lived my life any other way than I have been for the past few weeks. Just by living a healthy lifestyle I am happier, I feel better, and I no longer worry about things that I can not control. One thing, however, that I can control is the way that I look and feel about myself. 

It has been a battle. There have been days that I have wanted to give up right in the middle of dead lifts or what feels like a thousand burpees, but I haven't and I don't plan on it.

Diana, Tomi Jean, Dexter and I have signed up for our first race together once we get back! It is all for fun, but it is the first thing that us kids have done together in a long time. The Tap N Run in Louisville is June 14th and we will be dressing up as 'Walking Holidays.' I am really excited that not only am I doing it with my favorite people, but we are going to look awesome AND there is beer at every mile marker...plus you get a cool medal at the end of the race that is also a beer opener. Talk about a double whammy!

For Memorial Day Diana, the girls and I are hiking the Manitou Incline...if you aren't sure what that is, check it out.

It climbs 2,000 vertical feet over Manitou Springs, and is one of the most challenging hiking trails in Colorado. My parents have successfully made it to the top when they have come out to visit, so now it is my turn! I am really excited to mark this one off my bucket list!

My Colorado bucket list is getting smaller and once the last thing is marked off I will be bringing out the next one to start back in Kentucky....living life one check mark to the next. :)

Woe Is Me?

I guess you could say I have the case of the Mondays. Half way through my time in the Springs and I am starting to freak out a little bit about what path I should take when I return to Kentucky. Since January I have told myself that God has a plan for me. I pray that he will guide me in the right direction and open doors in my life. I'm not losing faith in his plan, because I know that if I trust in him then doors will open, but if you know me...I lack patience.

Have you ever played Mario World and end up in the room with 7 doors surrounding you? Depending on which one you open there is either a surprise or a tragedy behind the closed doors. Not knowing which one is which, you go with your gut and pick.

In a perfect world, not in Mario World, all of those doors would open and have exactly what you were looking for behind it. In 'Bonnie's World' I'm standing in a room surrounded by doors, throwing my hands up in the air because I just want them all to open and everything fall perfectly into place.

Have I lost you yet? If so, bare with me.

They say that doors open and close in your life for different reasons. I actually think I have said this on multiple occasions. However, I also believe that if you work hard, then you should be rewarded. I'm in the summer of my 24th year. A year out of college, spending every night sending out resumes, making phone calls, and networking so that I can begin and keep on pursuing what I want to do, which is write.  The closest thing I have to a relationship is my date with the gym after a work day...a year out of college and into the 'real world' and nothing really makes sense.

Woe is me?

There will be days like this. There will be days that I'll be discouraged and ready to give up. There will be days that I think that I need to change my career. There will be days that I ask myself why am I not dating anyone. The good thing is...these days are few.

The first night that I went to the church here in Colorado Springs the preacher started a new series called 'Writing A New Story.' Which was pretty ironic, don't you think? In the last sermon he told the story of David and Goliath. David is successful not because he is the better warrior, because he clearly was the underdog, David doesn't win for any reason other than the fact that he knows whose story it really is.

"Gods story through me is better than any story mine will ever be."

I have been trying to write my own story, trying to live life the way that I think it should be. God has another plan...and no matter how long it might take for that plan to become clear, I have faith that it is far better than the one that I would write for myself.

All of your problems may seem as big as Goliath, but live for God and you can overcome anything. Always have faith.