Earlier today a friend called me at work asking for advice on her current dating situation. All too often, my friends turn to me for an encouraging word when it comes to love, but to be honest, I don't really have anything positive to say about a piece of shit who can't take a minute to text back someone who he's spent a great deal of his time with over the past few months. She had asked the guy a very brave question that has to be asked eventually , "are you my boyfriend?" After spending every day for four months together, you would think he would be able to give her a straight forward answer, instead...he ignored her.
The following are a few things, real life things, that were said by the scorned, confused, upset girl on the other side of the phone. Her and I did come to one conclusion though, and that was, that dating shouldn't be this damn hard. All of us have been there, and I am sure most of you all have had a conversation similar to this one.
"Don't read into my feelings if you don't want to know what my feelings are."
In the dating world today, you spend time with someone, have drinks, watch your favorite shows, make out, hook up and without even realizing, you get to know them. However, when you start to think maybe, just maybe, things could possibly work out, someone bails. Someone freaks out at the thought of having feelings, and begins to over think everything. Oh, you made dinner tonight? Are you trying to marry me?
"I like him, I want to hang out with him, how the hell is that too much to ask?"
If you can spend hours with someone and not get annoyed or tired of talking or sleeping with them, why should we put any more thought into spending more time with them? Why do we self sabotage ourselves?
"I feel like he is either afraid that he is going to get hurt, or I am going to get hurt..but wtf."
If this is the case, he's a wimp. Life is all about falling in love with people, opportunities, places, things...there are no promises that any of these things wont hurt you, but it's all about making mistakes and learning from them.
"I think it would hurt and it would suck if we broke up, but it sure as hell would be fun while it lasted."
Way too many people think about the future instead of how they are feeling right then, in that moment. If it makes you happy now, go for it...because right now in this moment, you have nothing to lose.
"If you're going to just cut it off, then why start dating me in the first place, you idiot."
Good question.
"I think he thinks I want long term things, but you know what SIR, if you would've asked me about it you would know my preferences."
I'll never understand why women have to be so scared to actually admit that they want to be with someone, this world we live in right now sucks. If you like someone, and they obviously like you, then HOW can this be so hard. Some people spend their whole lives looking for someone that they can just get along with.
"I am adorable and I deserve some damn respect!"
She is adorable, in case you are wondering, and she is right. You can be the whole package, but if a man is scared of committing or not ready, you can't force him...
"I hope he knows that he's missing out on the worlds best...everything."
Oh I'm sure he knows, and if he doesn't now, he will later.
After a thirty minute phone call of trying to analyze and figure out what the hell is wrong with this man who won't take a few minutes out of his day to talk about his relationship status with a woman that he has openly and publicly been into for months. It sucks that we live in a time that commitment with one other person is a rare thing. It sucks that we spend more time trying to figure out what the opposite sex is thinking by looking at their social media accounts, than actually talking to them. It sucks that we can't just hang out and have fun with someone without things getting awkward when months down the road, you want to know how you should introduce him to your friends.
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