The American Dream

Isn't it funny how everyone has their own opinion on how you should and shouldn't live your life? To be honest, I have no idea what the hell I am doing most days, but does anyone? I am a roll with the punches, go with the flow, what is the worst that can happen, kind of girl. I believe that the Universe puts certain people and opportunities into your life and you, and only you, have the choice of what your destiny is going to look like. If you start to listen to all of the voices around you, then your destiny quickly becomes everyone else's destiny.

This weekend I got really silent. On Friday night, I shut off the news, turned my phone on silent, put the dogs outside, and waited. At first, my mind was going a million miles per minute. There was SO much noise. It had been a while since I took some time for some self healing. Lately, I have been beaten down and really confused. I lost sight of what I really wanted because I was listening to what everyone else wanted me to do. I was being pulled in a million different directions, trying to please every 'Tom, Dick and Harry' who had an opinion. Not saying that their opinions on how my life should be lived were wrong, but at the end of the day, something was missing.

So as I sat in this semi-lit, quiet room, I began to wonder what my perfect life would be like. Despite popular belief, you can have a job that you love. A faithful relationship does exist. Unselfish, supportive friendships are necessary. Maybe having 5 Labradors is a bit excessive but it doesn't mean that it wouldn't make me any less stoked. In my vision I didn't see a white picket fence, hell, I didn't even see babies. (Of course I want babies when the time is right, just not right now.)  In my almost perfect life, I would have a job that I was excited to wake up and go to every day, one that I absolutely kicked ass at. I would have a loving, supportive, man who undeniably loves every bit of my emotional, dramatic, overthinking self. I saw Layla being the healthiest dog ever living a life full of trail running, exploring new places and boat rides. I saw myself, with a healthy mind, a healthy body, and a smile that never left my face. Finally, I smelt it. After sitting silently for ten minutes, I smelt the ocean, I remembered how it felt so be standing alone on the beach at 5:30 in the morning and being reminded every day how small I was in comparison to such a big world of opportunity. I remembered how lucky I felt to be able to experience something every day, that some people never experience in their life...because everyone around them tell them that it isn't possible.

Your life is made up of the decisions that you make every single day. Some of those decisions turn into lessons learned, as others turn into monumental moments that lead you to that next big thing. I'm not saying that I don't want the white wedding, beautiful babies, and the white picket fence one day, but the American Dream doesn't have to happen as quick as every one thinks.

Last week I was presented with the opportunity to get my job back at Arrowmac in California. On Friday I quit my job in Kentucky and accepted the position. If you know me well enough, before accepting, I made 5 different pro/con lists and tried to think of answers to dreaded questions before they were asked. The cons that I came up with were 1. Money and 2. Family.The pro's list was longer than the paper. Telling my loved ones and hearing their feedback was like hearing that I made the worst decision that I would ever make in my life. I was almost convinced to stay in the job that I didn't love, work the 9-5, and stick it out. I was almost convinced that I didn't have enough money to make a move like that again. I was almost convinced that I wasn't thinking and that I was borderline insane.

All of those things may be true, and again, every one is entitled to their own opinion. But if I would've listened, my vision for my life would've slowly slipped a little farther away from me. If I would've listened to what everyone else thought how I should live my life, I wouldn't have woken up this morning, happier than I have been in the last couple of months, excited to log on and get really freaking creative with my team, remotely for now. Money will figure itself out, I am not too worried about that. My family, well, they will come around and eventually be excited about having somewhere to visit.

Life is scary. Big decisions are scary. Don't let the fear of everything falling to shit, keep you from doing what makes you happy, passionate and full of love. Above anything else, your own happiness is the only thing that matters, and no the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but I've officially seen both sides of this meadow.

Rose Colored Glasses

One thing is for certain, and that is in 2017 I learned to not let the way other people went about their day to interfere with how I was going to live my best life. The day that I decided this was another sunny day in California, when I realized that far too many people are just straight up disrespectful for absolutely no reason at all. There was a matter of weeks that led up to this monumental day that I decided to stop giving a fuck about what other people did or said, and those weeks were full of sleepless nights, self help books and a copious amount of wine.

You would've never known that I was hurting though, because social media showed you differently.

I do a lot of thinking, probably more than the average person a day. Some would argue that it is my biggest flaw, I however, beg to differ. Do you remember when we were younger and everybody who was some body would ask you that dreaded question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Do you remember how quickly you would rattle off an answer to satisfy the person looking at you, just to see a smile of approval or some sort of words of affirmation that you were right on track?

Social media is our way to show everyone who ever asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up, that we are actually out there, living out that dream. It is a way to show everyone that we have lost touch with over the years that we are doing just fine, getting promotions at our dream job, eating healthy and saying no to every piece of junk food that comes our way, in a perfect relationship that has no flaws, with a dog that doesn't shed and chew up expensive things in a house that doesn't have mice or spiders.

WHY.

I get it, nobody hangs hard times on the wall. However, I want to personally apologize for leading you to believe that I have never had a bad day. I want to apologize for posting so much about my personal life, that there are people who have never even met me that think that they  know my whole story. 

The truth is, you have no idea. None of us do. 

We live in a world that if you show any sign of weakness, you are not strong. If you show any type of emotion, you are 'too emotional.' If you complain, people judge, instead of extending a helping hand. If you are sad, people don't know how to console you. 

We live in a time where everyone wears rose colored glasses, showing only the beauty and hiding all of the truth. 

To an extent, this is amazing. We live our days thinking that every one around us is happier than they were the day before. However, then we begin to think that everything we are seeing on social media is the whole truth. We see Instagram stories of perfect babies who are always smiling, while you sit at home and hold a baby who has cried for hours on end. We see people getting promoted, while your position was just terminated right before the holidays. We see people getting fit and making it look so easy, when the thought of eating kale makes you personally want to throw a fit. We see people getting engaged, while the only thing you're engaging in is the next season of This Is Us. 

My challenge for myself, and to you, is to take off the rose colored glasses. Be a good friend, partner, parent or neighbor. Don't make assumptions by what you see on social media, and for the love of God, don't compare yourself to others. Be happy with where you are at in your life, whether that is in limbo with your career, parenthood or your relationship, and know that even though your life may not be as perfect as the girl you sat next to in History class six years ago via her Instagram, that you are living your best damn life every day, and as long as you can honestly say that then you are right on track.

Get Quiet, Live Loud

For the first time in a long time today, I got quiet. It was a normal day of rolling out of bed, making myself presentable, rushing to a work meeting then immediately to work, getting pissed at the traffic on the freeway because I was going to miss my spin class, and then coming home to make dinner. However, today I heard something that I had become a stranger to. Silence.

You see, I have made a point these past five months since moving away from home to keep myself so insanely busy that I have had no time to stop and think about anything. Honestly, it has worked well for me. I am making great strides in a company that I love working for, joined a fitness community that motivates me day in and out, and have been so fortunate to meet some amazing people. On a normal day after all of that, I come home to a handsome man in our beautiful apartment and take advantage of the one on one time with him that I have become so used to. 

Today I came home and there was silence. I turned on the air conditioner so that I could hear that familiar sound, then turned up the volume on the t.v. so that I could start Friends from season 1. I attempted to make brussel sprouts the way that he makes them and ended up asking myself if I really like brussel sprouts because they tasted like shit. But his? His are always perfect.

I got in the shower and I hate to admit this, but I showered with the curtain open. I have watched so many horror films that I just knew that when I opened that shower curtain I was going to get murdered by some alien. Dramatic, huh? Then I realized how silly I was being. 

In that moment, I challenged myself. I did something that I was terrified to do because I was afraid of what I would hear. I turned off the noise. Then, I wiped the dust off of this old thing and began to type. It had been so long since I took the time to get silent and focus in on myself, and tonight I am at peace. Tonight I was able to do some self reflection and realize that holy shit, I am living in California. I am building a life with a man I love and who loves me. I am a #GirlBoss who dove outside of my comfort zone and weirdly enough found comfort. I am so thankful.

Get quiet, live loud. Without getting quiet, you never realize how loud you can get.

Forget the presents, let's all be present

My new years resolution, that I have decided to start a few weeks early, is to be more present.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to sit down for dinner with someone and them not have to check their email, a sports update, or a social media site? Wouldn't it be nice if you could spend the holiday season telling your memories as you remember them, instead of pulling out your phone, logging into instagram and just showing the pictures that you have had the most likes on?

My biggest wish, and the best present that I could receive this year, is that the people that I surround myself with, will feel no need to check the stock market, bring up Adele's live performance, or the KY dude who is killing it on the Voice, but instead, will engage in conversation, make new memories, and reminisce on times that went by too quickly.

This year, the only thing my dad asked for Christmas, was for each of his kids to write in a journal all of the memories, good and bad, that we remember while growing up. While writing in my journal that I plan to give to him on Christmas, not one of those memories involve a phone. Not one of those memories involve some sort of social media account. However, every memory that I remembered from a young age until now had one thing in common, and it was a time that neither one of us had our phones out, that we were both totally present at a moment in time.

There are memories that I can still hear him laughing at me, or me laughing at him. One specific memory, that all of us kids can attest to, is sitting indian style in the kitchen floor on Sunday nights watching my dad make the best damn milkshake in town. When we were younger, we thought he put magic in that blender. Now that we are older, we know that it was just pure love. 

I guess my point is, is the memories I remember with my family, the ones that I really remember, are the ones when I am completely there. As you get older, because we all inevitably do, don't you want to look back and remember things other than being consumed by technology? I'll be honest, I couldn't tell you what I looked at on my phone and saw an hour ago, but I could tell you what me and a friend talked about a week ago, because that is what is important to me.

My challenge to you not only this holiday season but into the new year, is to put your phone down, push your stress aside, stop worrying about yesterday, tomorrow or next year and just. be. present.

In the long run, your friends and loved ones will appreciate the fact that you will be present, and that will be the best present of all. 

Settling never got anyone anywhere but down

Am I the only one looking back at this past year wondering where the hell the time has gone? Life is funny, because sometimes, we get so caught up in making plans, worrying about our next career choice, listing resolutions, and plotting our escape strategy that we forget to actually live.

Thirty days stand between us and 2016.


For the first time in a long time, I can look back at this year and pat myself on the back. No, I didn't settle down into a career, I actually did the opposite. I didn't start putting money into my 401K, but I do have some pretty kick ass memories to tell with the money I didn't save. I wish I could tell you that I followed my (once) dreams of becoming a journalist, and now I'm living in a big ol' city, but the funny thing about dreams, is that sometimes, they tend to change.

I'll tell you what I did do though. I walked away from a career that I thought would make me happy, because it no longer did. By doing that, I was able to start a job with a company that allowed me to travel all over the country. Not only did I make so many memories, shake hands and meet quite a few great people, but I was able to take a step in the right direction...the direction towards happiness. Little did I know that during a job that I thought was just buying me time to figure out my life, everything was slowly falling into place, and now I sit here a month left of 2015, and couldn't be happier. I am now working for a company (shout out Lululemon) that not only allows me to be the best version of myself, but I am encouraged to spread good vibes and fuel happiness to everyone around me. I get to spend my days encouraging people to be active in their community, and to help them be comfortable in their own skin. By doing this, I have not only seen happiness flare up in those around me, but in myself too.

You know what 2015 taught me? After eight jobs, hours of traveling for work, sleepless nights, and long worked days, everything always seems to work out just as it should. People who knew me two years ago wouldn't recognize me today. We all go through hardships, bad days, bad months, hell, even bad years, but those small pieces are only a part of the puzzle, to one day lead, to the bigger picture.

My puzzle isn't even half way done, and neither is yours. If you aren't happy with how things went this year, change one thing going into 2016. That might be your job choice, a toxic relationship, or maybe even the city that you are living in. My hope is for you to one day look back at your year and feel nothing but happiness. My hope is for you to find someone who isn't afraid to go the distance, and is satisfied with chocolate kisses when you aren't there to give the real ones.

 My hope is for you to not settle, because settling never got anyone anywhere but down.

Wine about it

It's funny how some things never change, but at the same time, every thing changes. When I was in college, I would sit down at this same computer every night, sometimes with a box of Franzia at my side, and vent about the things that I could not change. I'd rant about some boy that swept me off my feet to only throw me under a bus a few weeks later. I'd write about my confusion of what a true friend was or wasn't. I'd talk about pointless stuff, that only a 20 something could relate to. Not only did people read it, they loved it. I never understood why, until I realized, it was because everything I wrote was nothing but honest.

Years later, I sit here, at the same computer, drinking a glass of Pinot Noir for dinner. It was either that or animal crackers. Since I travel for work now, it's pointless to stock up on food when I am only home a day then leave for five. Not that I need to explain myself or anything...but I don't always have wine for dinner, put those judging eyes away.

Isn't it funny how we look at our futures and expect so much? Really, why would we do that to ourselves? I know, our whole lives, people tell us to shoot for the stars, to not settle for anything less than butterflies, to not stop until your famous, blah blah blah. I have always had high expectations for my future, but then I started thinking.

What if I tossed aside my "to do list before I'm 30." What if I stopped looking at all of my friends who are getting married and or engaged and stopped secretly obsessing over how they found a guy to settle down with. Not only to settle down with, but to love and to cherish until death do them part. What if I stopped looking at the board in the gym and beating myself up over not hitting a new PR the past couple of months. What if I set aside all of the rules, all of the expectations, all of the questions about my own life and just lived every day, with no expectations but to live through another day happily.

I think that we are all way too hard on ourselves. I know I am. Hell, 25 years young, and I freak out when people ask me when I am going to get married. I usually answer with a laugh and some smart ass comment like, uh don't you have to date someone before that happens? But I have realized that this only makes the older, more wiser, person in the conversation awkward, and they stare at me like I am some inhumane beast. 

Everything has changed, but some things have stayed the same. We have all became more independent,  are more visually stimulated (thanks social media,) and if something isn't working as well as we thought it would, we start shopping for the next best thing. Relationships are as disposable as the razors we use, and some people would rather sit around and let things happen to them, than making them happen themselves. Aside from all of that though, we all have remained having faith. Whether it's you venting to a family member after a long day of work and saying that you know that tomorrow will get better. Maybe it was you talking to a friend over dinner/drinks and after congratulating them on their engagement you slide in, "when I get engaged you will be the first to know." Or maybe, it's you lying in bed next to your significant other... another day has passed with kids, soccer practice, dance rehearsal and report cards and you whisper, "I know we have a vacation coming soon."

Have faith. At the end of the day, it's the only thing that we do have. Throw away the time lines and remind yourself that things will pan out as they should. You'll get your vacation, a promotion, or hell, maybe even that diamond ring one day.

Every thing changes, but faith is indefinite. 

A Disclaimer To My Happiness

A question that I have gotten alot lately is 'how?' How are you so happy all of the time? How do you see the good in the bad? How do you get through the tough times with a smile on your face? My only answer is, how do you not? How do you not wake up every morning thinking that the next 24 hours ahead of you holds so much possibility. How do you not smile knowing that whatever tough thing you are going through right now, can't last forever.

Comparison is the thief of all joy. I know this because at one point in time, I used to compare my body, my strength, my relationship status, my career, hell even my hair to other people. People that really had no big significance in my life. Then one day, I realized that I was only inhibiting myself from becoming a better, stronger, happier person.

For those of you who do not know me, I dropped thousands of dollars into a journalism degree that two and a half years out of college I would come to find out that I hated. When I decided to quit my job as a reporter, I did so because it no longer made me happy. I woke up and with tears in my eyes knew that it wasn’t something I had a passion for anymore. I knew that if I stayed that it would be solely because society says, since I got a Bachelors Degree in Journalism, that it would only make sense.  The day that I put my happiness first, was the best day of my life thus far.

People have questioned my happiness, some have even questioned that if the smile and the positive vibes I send out every day are part of some big act or show that I put on for attention. I'm going to let you in on a little secret, when you remove the negativity from your life, whether it be a shitty job, a mentally or physically abusive relationship, or even just trash television, you will no longer have a reason to be negative.

I used to think that my happiness was determined on materialistic things or relationships. If that was the case now, and if I still thought that way, I'd probably be a pretty miserable person. I am a single 25 year old, who is in between jobs, with a love for writing and life. I have an expensive gym habit that I can barely afford, but I freelance and pick up little odd jobs so that I can continue to enjoy that time. I surround myself with good vibes, because I believe that even when life goes to shit, there is always a reason to smile.

So when someone told me that people thought I was fake and not genuine, it got me thinking. I smiled, took a deep breath, and obviously tried to understand their accusations. I wasn't mad, but so sad. Sad to think that instead of these people joining me, instead of them spreading love, they chose to spread hate, they chose the wrong tribe. 

You have the choice every day when you wake up as to who you want to be that day. Hell, I could wake up tomorrow morning, decide I want to be an astronaut, then work my ass off for the next 23 hours to make it happen. Or, I could just wake up and decide that today is going to be the best day of my life...and why wouldn't that bring a smile to your face?

I get it. Life is tough. Life is so freaking tough. There will be mean people, accidents, deaths, sicknesses, failed marriages, cheating, lies, and days that you run out of peanut butter when you really just want a tablespoon of it. There will be days where it rains, and your hair is a mess. Days that your socks don't match, you poke your eye with the mascara wand, or get fired from a job. There will be days that you're behind on bills, you gained two pounds, and your significant other falls out of love with you.

But you know what keeps me going?

There will ALWAYS be better days. You can't control the bad, but you can control how you survive it. The one thing in life that you have control in is your own happiness...isn't that such an amazing thing?

Sending Good Vibes to everyone going through something right now, it can only go up from here if you want it to. <3

Does A Player Ever Become A Bench Warmer?

You've been running up and down the court for about 30 minutes now. You are sweating, you need a drink of water, and instead of actually taking a seat on the bench, you keep going. Your attempts of actually blocking shots or resisting the urge to double dribble are amusing. You won't pass the ball, and at this point you aren't thinking of your team, but just your own success. You look at the shot clock, the time has stopped, you are in your own little world, and the once upon a time fan section that stood behind you, is no longer there. There are no other players on the court with you, matter of fact, you are the only one in the gym.

You run over to your play book, trying to figure out your next move, but without a teammate to collaborate with or an opponent to keep the ball from, what exactly are you still playing for? There was a time that the game was something that you enjoyed, but you played it in a way where your team won. You used to have fun, you used to take breaks, you used to sit it out on the bench, because we all know, a real player can also be a bench warmer. But you, you let the game get to your head. You were all about the sneaky, behind your back, 'in between your legs' plays, the ones where not even you knew what the hell you were actually doing. You started becoming the kind of player that not only your opponents despised, but your teammates did too.

As you get older, the game should become less competitive. It should form into simply just trying to come up with a play good enough to get the ball from your hands, into the hoop. As you get older, you should want to take a break, have a drink of water, sit on the bench every now and then. As you get older, you should no longer want to be defined as a player, but part of a team.

There comes a time in every 20 something year old's life that they have to make a decision, and that is to keep playing the game, or take a seat on the bench. The point comes at different times for everyone, and sadly, there are some who will never actually want to be part of a team, and will eventually find themselves on the court alone.

Enjoy the game, enjoy being the number one player and only thinking about your own success. Enjoy looking at your 'numbers' and stats, and soak in all of those self accomplishments. However, there comes a time when you have to take a seat, and if you don't want to hang up that jersey yet, spare the upset of those around you. Spare the feelings of those people who thought you were their teammate, only to find out you only cared about yourself. Spare the disappointment of those who actually believed in you, only to find out that you'd never change your ways of selfishly playing.


You see, life isn't all about winning, and eventually, most players realize that scoring isn't all that fun by themselves.

What Do You Choose?

Isn't it refreshing to stand on the finish line and look back toward where you started, and how far you've come. Maybe this past year was a walk in the park for you, maybe it was a 5K, or maybe you had a year full of ups and downs which left you breathless, like a triathlon. Regardless, you're here...you've made it. If you're reading this chances are you passed those finals that you thought were going to be the end of your life, survived your pain in the ass coworker who never shuts up, and rose above that boy or girl who just wouldn't let you live out your life without them.

You made it through the worst day ever, the I can't live without you, the shoot me now moments, and even pulled yourself out of bed that one day that you really just wanted to lay there because watching Big leave Carrie on Sex and the City was a lot more bearable than actually facing your real life horror romance story.

You made it through losing your job, gaining and then losing weight, losing friends, losing a lover. You made it through losing your self in the thought of someone else, losing your mind, losing your dignity.

Now you're standing here, at the finish line of another year, hands on your hips looking back on the path that you pretty much crawled on to get to the point you are at right now. How do you feel? Because at the finish line, you have two options, to start another race, or dwell on the one that you just finished.

Take one last look at the past year. Remember the things that made you hurt, so that they won't have the power to hurt you again. Remember the things that made you feel happy and free, so that you can enjoy those things on a regular basis. Remember the people who offered you water and gave you a slap on the ass when you didn't think you could go any further, when you didn't think you could finish the race that you started. Keep those people close to you, remember how they were there for you when it wasn't easy or convenient, remember how they made you feel, because those are the people you want by your side in your future races. Remember those who made you feel worthless, made you feel ugly, made you feel used. Remember the lover with all of their empty promises and realize that eventually their bed, life, and friendship circle will be empty too. Remember that you are better than anyone who doesn't think you have everything to offer.

Remember these things enough to keep you going, but forget them enough so that they don't affect you negatively in the upcoming year.

Every day you wake up with a choice. You choose who you are going to be day in and day out. Remember that you can't change someone who wakes up everyday choosing to be a bad person. You can only choose to be better and forgive them, and choose to rise above the mean things that are said. You choose who you want to be everyday, and I don't know about you, but I choose happiness. I choose success. I choose beauty. I choose to leave behind negativity and people who are so lost because they are looking too hard for an answer that isn't even there.

This next race, choose the walk in the park. After a triathlon, I believe you deserve it.
Happy 2015.

Leaving it in 2014

Every new year, we tell ourselves that this is going to be it. We make promises to be healthier, to stop drinking so much, to settle down or talk to God more often. We want to put the last year behind us and forget about the things that we didn't follow through with, didn't say or didn't do. We want to start fresh, and with a new year, maybe become a new person.


Some of us actually will take strides in the direction that we want to this year. Some will find the love of their life, get married and start a family. Some will move to a new state, establish a new life in a new city and become someone other than the person from college who liked to party. Some will go back to school, and follow the career path they always wanted to and stop making excuses. Some will start a work out routine, and make this year the year that they can be naked in full confidence.

The last year was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I started the year at rock bottom, and am about to end it a completely different person, and for that I am thankful. I was able to take a trip to Colorado, and allowed that experience to change me. I will be visiting Chicago this weekend, which is a place that I have always wanted to go. I have embraced adventure and never turned down a chance to make a memory. While there were so many great things that happened to me this year, there are a few things that I do regret doing or not doing. Some of you may be able to relate, others maybe not, but going into 2015, there are certain things that I want to change the way that I think and feel about.

Regret is the disappointment of something that has happened. It's probably the worst feeling ever, and usually I don't have regrets, but this year, I have one.

In 2015, my resolution is to change the way that I feel about you. It's something that not only haunts me but constantly makes me feel like a bad person day in and day out. I have thought that maybe I wasn't good enough, that maybe if I would've done more squats, or worn more lipstick, or drank that cocktail the 'perfect' way, that maybe you would change the way you had thought about me too. At the most confident time in my life though, you still make me feel like there is something wrong with me,because that is the only possible reason that the feelings I had for you were not reciprocated.

Don't feel sorry for me, I used this as an example to prove that there are just some things that you have to leave behind. That sometimes a new year and a fresh start is just a second, third or fourth chance at finding someone who will make you happy in the next 365 days or more.

What an exciting thought that is.

12 Days of Christmas

Let's face it, there are some who have it, some who wish they did, and some who just aren't ready for it. Wherever you fall, Christmas can be a really annoying time if you aren't one of the people who have someone to show off to your extended family or kiss under the mistletoe.

So, I have decided to change up a Christmas song a little bit. First off, who in their right mind would want 10 lord a leaping or 11 pipers piping? I'll take the 5 golden rings though true love, you da best.


Almost at the mid-twenty mark (wah, wah, wah) I have decided to make my 12 days of Christmas about my friends, because they bring so much happiness to my life. Not a certain one, but all of them. Because I'm thankful for each one of them this Christmas. They may hate me for this, they may find it funny, either way...enjoy, and make sure you sing it or it probably wont make sense :)

On the first day of Christmas, Jen Dawn gave to me:
A baby in her belly.

On the second day of Christmas, Darnell gave to me:
Two 'Two Buck Chucks'

On the third day of Christmas, Haley gave to me:
Three years of laughing

On the fourth day of Christmas, Logan gave to me:
Four phone calls a day

 On the fifth day of Christmas, Walker gave to me:
Five apologies

On the sixth day of Christmas, Whitney gave to me:
Six nights of dancing

On the seventh day of Christmas, Natasha gave to me:
Seven shots for shooting

On the 8th day of Christmas, BMitch gave to me:
Eight Buckeyes Losing

On the 9th day of Christmas, Therese gave to me:
9 towering towers 

On the 10th day of Christmas, Taren gave to me:
10 reps of lifting

On the 11th day of Christmas, Dana gave to me:
11 could you nots?

On the 12th day of Christmas, Diana gave to me:
12 hours of driving


On the twelve days of Christmas my friends gave to me:
12 hours of driving
11 could you nots?
10 reps of lifting
9 towering towers
8 buckeyes losing
7 shots for shooting
6 nights of dancing
5 apologies
4 phone calls a day
3 years of laughing
2 'two buck chucks'
and a baby in jen's belly.


Damn, that was fun.
Merry (almost)  Christmas, ya filthy animals.

Why Settle For A Player When You Can Find The Perfect Teammmate?

I think that life is all about finding your teammate, the perfect person to motivate and slap you on the ass when you accomplish something. A recent conversation with my best guy friend got me thinking about the different kinds of relationships there are now a days. As my best friend, he knows me better than anyone probably, so I asked him a simple question. How have I met all of these guys who are attracted to me, have fun with me, love to be around me, but at the end of the day, don't want to 'be with me?' It took him a while to respond, trying to find the perfect words, to tell me the truth, but not piss me off. His reply was this:

"Well, I couldn't date you just because I know how I am, I'd end up hurting you, you'd hate me, and then we would no longer be friends. As for all of the other guys you've hung out, you might make it too easy."

This was his answer because come to find out, he really just has no idea, typical man. But the fact that he said easy, sparked my interest. I don't sleep around, so I was confused to why someone who knew that, would say that was the reason. But he meant it in an entirely different way. When I like someone, they usually know. I don't hold back my feelings, dodge phone calls, or wait hours to text back. I don't play the games that these men want to play, because honestly, I don't have time to. Between working and bettering myself, the last thing I want to do is worry about how long I should wait to call you, or if I should even call you at all.

I have always believed that if you are going to be in a relationship with someone, it should be easy. There should be no second guessing, no insecurities, just a good time between two people who are ready to kick ass together. I don't need someone to 'save' me, I am doing pretty well by myself, so if I am to get into a relationship with someone, I want it to be with a person who motivates me, and makes me better every day, not vise versa.

It makes me cringe to see couples who are miserable but stay together because they've dated for years so they feel like they are stuck. Or a girl who clings to the guy who constantly cheats on her because "she loves him too much to let go." Or the boy who stays with the girl who talks to a million other guys, because "she is just going through a phase." If things do not work out, that just means they weren't fit for your team, and that is okay. I used to be the girl who stayed with a guy who clearly hated me, and not only were we a shitty team, we had no team at all, which constantly had us losing at life every day.

Between the day that you are born and the day that you die, you will meet so many people who will  try out for your team. If you are honest and straight forward with them, let them know exactly what you are looking for, things will be easy, and you all will both be on the same page in every aspect of life. However, there will be some who try out, make the cut, but you end up having to let go because they turn out to not be the teammate you were looking for, just a really good player. Don't settle for the player, because somewhere out there is the perfect teammate.

Why Relationships Should Be As Easy As Friendships

I think dating is frustrating. I think getting to know someone, actually starting to care about them then months later finding out they just aren't into you is a vicious cycle and an emotional roller coaster. I wish defining someone as your significant other could be as easy as defining someone as your best friend, it just works.

My gal pals and I always joke around about how easy it was for us to fall in love with each other. Friendships are so easy to come by, they usually start with cocktails, and after discussing similarities and differences, you decide that the person you just met might actually be your new best friend. However, in my experience, when trying to find someone who I could actually see myself with, there is far more confusion than just going with the flow.


You can blow up your friends phone at all hours of the day and night and they know you are crazy, but love you that much more for it. If you even tried to double text the person you're interested in or even cross that line of actually calling them on the phone, you are a stage 5 clinger and they don't want to talk to you anymore.

With my friends, we can go out to dinner or drinks and have a constant flow of conversation. No awkward moments, and you don't even think twice about ordering that burger that you have been craving for weeks. The last time I went out to drinks with a datable prospect, I constantly questioned if what I was saying was the right thing. Also, when I get nervous I talk at 100 mph and my face gets red, and I sweat...and because of that, it's awkward.

People always say that the person you'll be with should be 'your best friend,' and I never understood it until I looked at the situation from this stand point.

With our friends we don't try to be something we aren't. We are who we are, and they love us anyway. With people we are trying to impress, we almost have to go through a series of job interviews and awkward moments just to finally get to a point where they kind of like us enough to stick around. Then you tell yourself you won't tell them about your annoying habit of asking too many questions and your obsession with New Girl until they are hooked, then you'll release the demons.

Wouldn't it be easier if we could just be in relationships like we are in friendships. I know my friends would do absolutely anything for me, and I know that they didn't think about leaving me because of that one time I got too drunk at the bar, or that other time that they had to hold my hair back while I hung shamelessly over a toilet. My friends embrace my flaws, and I embrace theirs, if we were perfect, what would we have to laugh at on any given day of the week? Friends are always there, through the good, the bad, the ugly and the inconvenient. Woudn't it be reassuring that your significant other would be too?

I'm sure a lot of you are going to think "Bonnie, this exists. Love exists. You'll find it one day. Be patient." I've heard it people, and I don't think I'll be single forever. However, I do think that there has to be an easier way to find someone that I am completely compatible with and somehow avoid all of the awkward moments, games, and insecurity/ trust issues that come with it.

An Open Letter About An 'Almost' Relationship

Writers Note: Don't read too far into my feelings, if you don't want to know what my feelings are. Believe it or not, this has nothing to do with me, I'm writing it for a friend. However, to say that I don't know what she is going through would be a lie, we have all been in an 'almost' relationship.


I remember when I first met you. From a distance, your baby blues caught my attention and I was hooked. I nudged my best friend next to me, nodded your way, and she gave me the go ahead and a confidence boost to come and talk to you. After that first conversation, after you told me about your family, your all too perfect job, your favorite hobbies and biggest pet peeves, I realized that you, this stranger at first, was everything that I hadn't been looking for. Your smile lit up a room and your laugh was addicting. You laughed at my jokes, whether you even really thought they were funny, I guess we will never know.

I go back to the night that I finally invited you into my apartment. It was several weeks later, after I had assured myself that you weren't like every other guy. I told myself that if you wanted to hurt me, you would have already. I am the kind of girl who doesn't let people in easily, not into my apartment, or into my heart. But you. You had something about you that led me to believe that you were "it." I dreamt about the day that I would introduce you to my dad, and smile at the thought of my brother actually liking  someone that I have dated. But 'dating' is such a weird word for our generation. It's almost like taboo. After several months of hanging out, and keeping eachother's secrets, one would think that we were what you would call, exclusive.

I remember lying in my bed, your back facing me, watching the snow fall outside my window. Not only was it cold outside, but it was even colder in my bed. The holiday season was coming up, and I thought, that this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce you to my family. The night before we were having dinner (drinks) I brought up something, that I quickly found out, I shouldn't have. The person sitting across from me, who I had shared so many moments with in the past several months, turned into a very, cold, human being. Someone that I have literally nightmared about since the last one wrecked havoc on my life. You had a blank expression on your face and said, "Oh, you think we are in a relationship?"

The thing is, I have zero expectations anymore. I am more surprised when a guy is nice to me, than when he isn't. But what I don't understand is why would you spend so much of your time with me, laugh with me, talk about the future with me, but...not really want to "be" with me. Would it be so bad to spend the next 6 months, how we have spent the last?

After our disagreement, you still chose to come over, and I still chose to give into you. I knew that things weren't going to be the same after that night, not because I didn't want them to be, but because I wasn't going to sit around and be some emotional filler for you. We are old enough to know what we want, or don't want, so it's easy for me to walk away from this situation, because I told myself that I would never let someone make me feel like I wasn't important, like I wasn't beautiful.

If I had my choice, I would choose you. If I had my choice, I would choose to spend the time that you aren't traveling in your arms. If I had the choice, I would do my best to be the girl that you could actually see yourself 'dating.' But instead, I don't really have a choice in the matter, since you are "too invested in your career" right now to discuss the situation at hand...and that is okay.

I'll be alright, I'll have wine with the girls, talk about how much I hate you even though I know that I really don't. I'll erase you from my life and move on, and hope that every now and then you'll think of my smile, or the way that I used to make you laugh when I'd dance around like a fool. I'm not an easy person to forget, and I know that. But I hope that whatever reason you had to not commit to me, to not be faithful to me...I hope that it was a damn good one.

...Or it's gonna go down in flames

Earlier today a friend called me at work asking for advice on her current dating situation. All too often, my friends turn to me for an encouraging word when it comes to love, but to be honest, I don't really have anything positive to say about a piece of shit who can't take a minute to text back someone who he's spent a great deal of his time with over the past few months. She had asked the guy a very brave question that has to be asked eventually , "are you my boyfriend?" After spending every day for four months together, you would think he would be able to give her a straight forward answer, instead...he ignored her.

The following are a few things, real life things, that were said by the scorned, confused, upset girl on the other side of the phone. Her and I did come to one conclusion though, and that was, that dating shouldn't be this damn hard. All of us have been there, and I am sure most of you all have had a conversation similar to this one.

"Don't read into my feelings if you don't want to know what my feelings are."
 In the dating world today, you spend time with someone, have drinks, watch your favorite shows, make out, hook up and without even realizing, you get to know them. However, when you start to think maybe, just maybe, things could possibly work out, someone bails. Someone freaks out at the thought of having feelings, and begins to over think everything. Oh, you made dinner tonight? Are you trying to marry me?

"I like him, I want to hang out with him, how the hell is that too much to ask?"
If you can spend hours with someone and not get annoyed or tired of talking or sleeping with them, why should we put any more thought into spending more time with them? Why do we self sabotage ourselves?


"I feel like he is either afraid that he is going to get hurt, or I am going to get hurt..but wtf."
If this is the case, he's a wimp. Life is all about falling in love with people, opportunities, places, things...there are no promises that any of these things wont hurt you, but it's all about making mistakes and learning from them.

"I think it would hurt and it would suck if we broke up, but it sure as hell would be fun while it lasted."
Way too many people think about the future instead of how they are feeling right then, in that moment. If it makes you happy now, go for it...because right now in this moment, you have nothing to lose.

"If you're going to just cut it off, then why start dating me in the first place, you idiot."
Good question.


"I think he thinks I want long term things, but you know what SIR, if you would've asked me about it you would know my preferences."
I'll never understand why women have to be so scared to actually admit that they want to be with someone, this world we live in right now sucks. If you like someone, and they obviously like you, then HOW can this be so hard. Some people spend their whole lives looking for someone that they can just get along with.

"I am adorable and I deserve some damn respect!"
She is adorable, in case you are wondering, and she is right. You can be the whole package, but if a man is scared of committing or not ready, you can't force him...


"I hope he knows that he's missing out on the worlds best...everything."
Oh I'm sure he knows, and if he doesn't now, he will later.

After a thirty minute phone call of trying to analyze and figure out what the hell is wrong with this man who won't take a few minutes out of his day to talk about his relationship status with a woman that he has openly and publicly been into for months. It sucks that we live in a time that commitment with one other person is a rare thing. It sucks that we spend more time trying to figure out what the opposite sex is thinking by looking at their social media accounts, than actually talking to them. It sucks that we can't just hang out and have fun with someone without things getting awkward when months down the road, you want to know how you should introduce him to your friends.

1990

If you know me at all, you know that I am a huge fan of Taylor Swift. My friends really aren't surprised anymore when they walk into my apartment and I'm jamming to Shake it Off and performing my own mini concert. Her latest album, 1989, is about how far she has come since she was born and what she has learned in the years leading up to the strong, independent woman that she has become in her twenties.

During your lifetime there will be experiences, adventures, and people  who form you into the person that you end up becoming. I'm sure that on February 26, 1990, when my brother and I were born only weighing 2 and 3 pounds, my mom had no idea what our futures held. I'm sure she had dreams of us becoming famous (I promise mom, it will happen sooner or later) and even bigger dreams of us being healthy, loving adults. As one of four, I can honestly say my parents have done something right, and not trying to be biased, but we all pretty much kick ass.

Taylor Swift was given a talent in which she could affect people in a positive way, through music. I was given the gift to do the same thing, but through writing. (Sometimes I like to believe that I am just as cool as her, just go with it.)




Growing up we all obviously have huge plans for ourselves. What kind of people would we be if we sat around and thought, "when I grow up I want to be homeless, unsuccessful, unloved, and poor." We all have dreams, big or small, and that is one of the reasons why I love meeting new people. With my job, I am able to interact with a wide variety of people. Some are as old as 95, others are as young as 3. What amazes me most is to sit down and talk to them, both so different in age, and to hear their thoughts about life, love, and happiness.

Last week I interviewed a 95 year old World War II veteran. While he didn't remember much because, "hell, there's 90 years of stuff in this head of mine," he did remember those events that made a huge impact on his life. His wedding day, where and when his two sons were born, what it felt like when he was hiding in a fox hole during the Battle of the Bulge, and the day that he retired with honors from the military. While I am sure that his life was full of other moments, those were the only things that he could remember with detail, and he told me it was because those were the times that he felt some type of extreme emotion.

This past summer when I would sit down with my niece Sarah, she would tell me all about her day, and at dinner time, she would usually tell me what her favorite part of the day was. If I was to ask her for any detail from the day before though, she would usually say, "Now Jo Jo, that was yesterday, I don't remember!" with her hands on her hip. However, you will catch her talking about last summer at my parents cabin, and all of the memories she made with family. She remembers burying a treasure box with Tomi Jean, hiking with Grandaddy, laughing with GiGi, and being thrown around by 'the strongest man ever,' Dexter. She remembers us fishing together, and her catching a way bigger fish than me. She remembers these things because those are the times that so far in her young life, that she has been the happiest and have felt the most love.

What I am getting at is, as we get older and go through life, there will be times that we remember when we are 95, and times that will slowly fade away. No matter what age though, I think that those times spent with the people that you love most, will be the ones that out shine any other memory that you make. Be smart when you choose who to give your heart and time to. Love your family, love yourself, and love someone who loves both of those things just as much as you do. Years down the road when you are looking back at your life, you will want to remember the good times, the times that made your heart skip a couple of beats, and make you take a step back and think how lucky you have been to live such a life full of love and happiness.


Also, just for a little comic relief and the fact that I just realized not too long ago that due to the way I was positioned in this picture, the door says dinomite ass. Throwing it back to 1995, when I was just a little girl with all kinds of crazy dreams, not much has changed, except for I wish I still had that shirt.

Four Things That We ALL Need To Stop Doing

I know I am not alone when I say that there are things in my every day life that I don't even understand why I have kept around as long as I have. I don't think that being 24 is old, but I do think that it is an age that you can start deciding to remove unwanted bull shit if it's not an asset to your life. Recently, I have found myself thinking about removing things that just exist in my life for no real purpose. This got me thinking about different things that I have kept close to me, which has lead to self sabotage. If you're with me on this, maybe we should all do a self cleanse.

Shitty 'Friends'
We all have them, hopefully you only have/had one. Shitty friends are the worst, and really hard to let go of. They are the people that take and take and take from you, but really give you nothing in return. It's not like they really add anything to your life, but you want them there, and the fact that they could care less to have you in theirs, makes it that much harder to understand. For however long that you let it go on, you pour your energy into these friendships hoping that one day, they'll realize how good of a friend you are to them. Spoiler alert, the thing that is so shitty about these friends, is that they are so self involved, that they don't even realize when there is something good in front of them. Unlike you, they don't find the people that they surround themselves with indispensable...they go through life, considering those people who put up with their shit, their friends. I used to think that friendships were all about quantity. That by the number of people that I had with me at all times somehow deemed me to be a better person. Quality, not quantity, has become very important to me in my friendship circle. While maybe at the end of the day I only have a handful of people I actually trust or care about, I know that those people would go just as far as I would for them, to have me in their life. That's important.

Cheap Alcohol
As I get older, it doesn't matter if I drink a little or a lot, if it is cheap and I put even a dab of it into my body, I will be hanging over a toilet for the next 24 hours. Cheap alcohol was okay in college when you were drinking every night and it's really all you could afford. However, you're an adult now, so if you walk into the company Christmas party with a case of Natti Light and Burnettes vodka, your coworkers will probably wonder why you haven't left your 21 year old self behind. Also, there is such a wonderful world out there of craft beers and distilled bourbon, there is no reason you should be limiting yourself that way. Thank me later.

Not enough time
I am guilty of this, but I am definitely working on it. To say that you don't have enough time to do something, is just an excuse because you really don't want to do it. I used to be the person who said she didn't have time to go to the gym, now I wake up at 5 a.m. An important thing that we should always make time for, and I am working on this myself, is time with family. Realize that if you are getting older, so are your parents, and grandparents, and that spending as much time with them as you possibly can is important, because one day you will wish that you did. It may be hard to actually drive to see them everyday, but atleast give them a phone call, I know that calling my parents 5 times a day annoys the hell out of them, but secretly they love it...and if they don't well, sorry Mom and Dad. :)

Settling for less than butterflies and all that romance stuff
WHY. I don't think I'll ever understand people who get into relationships because they are "bored." First off, when I am bored I go for a run, read a book, watch a movie...not just lead someone on because hey, it seems like a fun thing to do at the time. WHAT. So many of my friends tell me, "I mean I'm not really into them now, but I'm sure once we are together for a few months it'll grow on me." This is when I look at them blankly and think what the actual hell. I am all for love stories. You wouldn't know it but I secretly obsess over romance novels and movies. I can't get enough of the whole love at first sight, i'll do anything for you type thing. I think it's so magical, and I know that it exists. So, what I don't understand is why people believe that they aren't good enough for that. Because settling for someone that isn't everything you have ever dreamed of, well you are pretty much telling yourself, "hey sorry self, you can't meet your own expectations, you literally suck, have fun being miserable."

Let's all take a step back and look at our lives. Are their people or things consuming your every negative thought? Let it go. It sounds cliche, but life is way too short for all the extra bull shit. We are all trying to make it in this crazy world, trying to survive, and make ourselves better people. How are we supposed to do any of that if we keep allowing ourselves to not take on every day at our full potential?

Mr. Right Now

Writers note: I wrote this after drinking a bottle of Sutter Home White Zinfandel, if there are any grammatical errors or anything that offends you, I truly apologize.

There is always someone who gives you 'butterflies.' Whether it was the man in front of you at Starbucks this morning, the guy you met on Tinder yesterday, or maybe a boyfriend you've had for several months now. As humans, we are all set out for three things, happiness, romance and fun. 

Just a few months shy of 25, I will be the first to share that I have had my fair share of "Mr. Right Now's." As I have gotten older I have realized that my age has coorelated the men/boys that I have chosen over the years, and looking back, I don't regret a single one.

Sometimes, I feel so thankful to have met my first, second and third love all between the ages of 17 and 23. Because of this, by the age of 24, I have become more aware of what I want in the man that I intend to marry. Marriage, woof. That word literally makes me want to puke right now, not because I'm not ready, but because so many of my friends are.

At 17, he was the guy I stood on the sideline and cheered for at football games. The guy I sat next to in the church pew on Sunday mornings, spent almost everyday with his family, and got to really know him, without the interference of alcohol or social media. At 17, I experienced a lot of firsts, but that was what he was put in my life for. To show me that if a boy can love as much as he did, a man is bound to love a little more.

At 21, I met the right guy at the wrong time. Loved him, loved his family, loved his dogs, loved his truck...at 21, what else did you really need to love? He took me out on romantic dates to look at stars in the back of his truck, wanted to show me off to all of his friends, and every time he saw me, his face would light up. He once told me after I kissed him goodnight, that "he knew I was the one because before I left him at night, I'd hug him like I would never see him again." As all Mr. Right Now's do, he decided to live out his dream with someone else.

At 23, I fell in love with a guy under neon lights, and after way too many fireball shots and him telling me that I was pretty, I had found my new Mr. Right Now. This guy, is what you would call my college sweetheart. He literally made life more fun, but at the same time, we were so toxic for each other, it made all of our friends hate us. I loved him for all of the wrong reasons, as he did the same. Mr. Right Now's tend to do that.

I am fortunate enough to know the difference between the two. Between the guy I want to take home to meet my family, and the guy I want to take home to meet my roommate, who literally loves everyone. 

After being single for 2 years, I have started to realize how important it is to not settle. So many of us find someone who pacifies our time, maybe makes us laugh, or gets us off every now and then, but what about the long run? What about the guy who will look at you, even on your sickest days, and be ready to stand by your side. 

I see so many of my friends in relationships that, 5 times out of 10, they don't really want to be in. (Side note: I do have some friends who really are happily in love.) But what I am getting at, is that it really shouldn't be that complicated. Whether they are your Mr. Right Now, Mr. Four Months or Mr. Forever.

So You Want To Be A Rock Star?

When you are a child everyone around you tells you that you should have no limitations, that you can be whoever you want to be when you grow up. So, at a young age we start to rack our brains. At the age of five we want to be an astronaut or the President, or maybe even Super Man. Then as you hit the awkward stage of puberty, you tell everyone that you want to be a race car driver or an actor/actress so that they'll maybe stop looking at your braces and crazy hair and see that you have a potential future. By the time you reach high school you start being more realistic, thinking that maybe a lawyer or a teacher will do, and that's what you'll go to college for.

For me, I think I always knew I wanted to be a writer. There was a point in time in middle school where I was taller than every other girl in my grade, so I told myself that I could totally be a model... that was short lived.

We go to college, and we get these degrees, and we see ourselves graduating and getting amazing jobs and becoming this well educated adult with their whole life together. However, in college, the one thing they stop telling you is that you can be whatever you want to be when you graduate. It's a lot harder than they lead you on to believe, and sometimes even if you do go to school for all of those years, there is a chance that you still might not get a job in the field that you want, which is total bull shit if you ask me.

However, there is one day that you can set aside all of your broken dreams and actually become something that you aren't. Without a degree, without tears and sweat, you can be anyone you want to be and nobody can turn you down. This is the reason I love Halloween.

For one night, you can slip into an identity that you secretly have always wanted to have. You can walk out of your door dressed in a uniform, or lack there of, with full confidence knowing that for the night, you have become something out of your normal, 8-5 desk clerk.



You could dress up as a millionaire and nobody is going to point out that you actually over drew your account last week. You can dress up as a vampire and people will think that you are out to suck their blood. You could get in touch with your inner super star and be a Spice Girl, or Hugh Hefner, and nobody will point out the fact that you can't sing or you aren't capable of taking care of 1 woman, let alone ten.

If everyday was Halloween, we'd stop listening to the things that we aren't capable of doing, and without hesitation, become it. 

7 First Dates You'll Go On Before You Settle Down

Chances are you didn't fall in love with the first person you met and live happily ever after. If you did, good for you, but you're missing out on a lot of fun, crazy, people that lead to some pretty amazing stories to tell. The fun part about being in your twenties is that you can date anyone you want without your parents doing a background check or investigating their family tree first.You have the opportunity to meet someone who is exactly like you, or someone who makes you consider the being single for life thing. There are quite a few first date scenarios that you can find yourself in, and from personal experience some are good and some you just kind of want to look up into the sky and whisper to God, "But, why?"


The One Who Is Too Plugged In
You haven't even finished your first drink and they have been on their phone non stop. Live tweeting the funny joke you just said, showing you their most recent tinder matches, reading aloud an email that they "just couldn't believe," showing you their most recent score in fantasy football, updating their facebook status to dinner date hashtag happy, smiley emoji. They are so in tune with their new Iphone 6, they probably couldn't even tell you the color of your eyes.

Hey I Just Met You, and I May Be Crazy
Tell me every person you have had sexual interest in within the last 5 months? Are you talking to anyone other than me right now? What alcohol would make you want to go home with me later? Do you watch porn? My last girlfriend/boyfriend was crazyyy. Do you have daddy issues? My favorite show is South Park, but The Simpsons is a close second. I wear a wedding ring to bars to pick up love interests. Can I see your recent call log?

I'm Yelling Tinder
You meet up with this person at a local bar because you swiped right and they were attractive so why not? This is how relationships work these days right? Good luck with this one.

The Friend Of A Friend
Your friends know you better than anyone and they want to hook you up with someone that would be just perfect for you. They know exactly what makes you tick, they know what you like, dislike, and know all about the many dates that you have been on that have been an epic fail. So when your friends say they have a friend that they would like you to meet, go for it. This date actually turns out pretty awesome.

The One Upper
You will eventually go out with someone that no matter what you say, they have done that exact same thing but ten times better. Oh you can make buffalo chicken dip? I won an award for mine once, So you crossfit? Ha, I can lift a car. You'll either need to excuse yourself to the restroom and dip out the back door on this one, or grin and bear it then pretend that you don't speak english the next time they message you.

The Facebook Messenger
You're probably thinking, who actually goes out with someone that messages them on Facebook, good question, but I did once. The person ended up drinking too much, accusing me of cheating on them (I had just met them 3 hours prior) and yelled at me in the middle of the bar, proceeding to tell me that he was going to kick my door down if I didn't leave with him. Needless to say, I didn't leave the bar, and when I got home that night with my friends he was passed out in front of my apartment door. He apologized the next day via facebook to me and all of my friends. This is a true story.

The Date You Never Want To End
These are fun. It's like you'd rather sit there and hear about their whole life than sit on your couch alone, binge watching netflix, which is a huge step up from where you have been.   You all have a lot in common, they are funny, and they don't give off a super creepy vibe. You then reassure yourself that dating isn't so bad and that there are actually some pretty decent people still out there. Thank God.

Being single is supposed to be the time that you meet a variety of different people, grow as a person yourself, and not necessarily settle down, but become one step closer to finding someone that you could enjoy spending more time with outside of a bar or restaurant. Crazy to think about, but sooner or later, after all the people you meet, you'll meet an alright one that will prove to you that not all people are completely bat shit.