What Do You Choose?

Isn't it refreshing to stand on the finish line and look back toward where you started, and how far you've come. Maybe this past year was a walk in the park for you, maybe it was a 5K, or maybe you had a year full of ups and downs which left you breathless, like a triathlon. Regardless, you're here...you've made it. If you're reading this chances are you passed those finals that you thought were going to be the end of your life, survived your pain in the ass coworker who never shuts up, and rose above that boy or girl who just wouldn't let you live out your life without them.

You made it through the worst day ever, the I can't live without you, the shoot me now moments, and even pulled yourself out of bed that one day that you really just wanted to lay there because watching Big leave Carrie on Sex and the City was a lot more bearable than actually facing your real life horror romance story.

You made it through losing your job, gaining and then losing weight, losing friends, losing a lover. You made it through losing your self in the thought of someone else, losing your mind, losing your dignity.

Now you're standing here, at the finish line of another year, hands on your hips looking back on the path that you pretty much crawled on to get to the point you are at right now. How do you feel? Because at the finish line, you have two options, to start another race, or dwell on the one that you just finished.

Take one last look at the past year. Remember the things that made you hurt, so that they won't have the power to hurt you again. Remember the things that made you feel happy and free, so that you can enjoy those things on a regular basis. Remember the people who offered you water and gave you a slap on the ass when you didn't think you could go any further, when you didn't think you could finish the race that you started. Keep those people close to you, remember how they were there for you when it wasn't easy or convenient, remember how they made you feel, because those are the people you want by your side in your future races. Remember those who made you feel worthless, made you feel ugly, made you feel used. Remember the lover with all of their empty promises and realize that eventually their bed, life, and friendship circle will be empty too. Remember that you are better than anyone who doesn't think you have everything to offer.

Remember these things enough to keep you going, but forget them enough so that they don't affect you negatively in the upcoming year.

Every day you wake up with a choice. You choose who you are going to be day in and day out. Remember that you can't change someone who wakes up everyday choosing to be a bad person. You can only choose to be better and forgive them, and choose to rise above the mean things that are said. You choose who you want to be everyday, and I don't know about you, but I choose happiness. I choose success. I choose beauty. I choose to leave behind negativity and people who are so lost because they are looking too hard for an answer that isn't even there.

This next race, choose the walk in the park. After a triathlon, I believe you deserve it.
Happy 2015.

Leaving it in 2014

Every new year, we tell ourselves that this is going to be it. We make promises to be healthier, to stop drinking so much, to settle down or talk to God more often. We want to put the last year behind us and forget about the things that we didn't follow through with, didn't say or didn't do. We want to start fresh, and with a new year, maybe become a new person.


Some of us actually will take strides in the direction that we want to this year. Some will find the love of their life, get married and start a family. Some will move to a new state, establish a new life in a new city and become someone other than the person from college who liked to party. Some will go back to school, and follow the career path they always wanted to and stop making excuses. Some will start a work out routine, and make this year the year that they can be naked in full confidence.

The last year was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I started the year at rock bottom, and am about to end it a completely different person, and for that I am thankful. I was able to take a trip to Colorado, and allowed that experience to change me. I will be visiting Chicago this weekend, which is a place that I have always wanted to go. I have embraced adventure and never turned down a chance to make a memory. While there were so many great things that happened to me this year, there are a few things that I do regret doing or not doing. Some of you may be able to relate, others maybe not, but going into 2015, there are certain things that I want to change the way that I think and feel about.

Regret is the disappointment of something that has happened. It's probably the worst feeling ever, and usually I don't have regrets, but this year, I have one.

In 2015, my resolution is to change the way that I feel about you. It's something that not only haunts me but constantly makes me feel like a bad person day in and day out. I have thought that maybe I wasn't good enough, that maybe if I would've done more squats, or worn more lipstick, or drank that cocktail the 'perfect' way, that maybe you would change the way you had thought about me too. At the most confident time in my life though, you still make me feel like there is something wrong with me,because that is the only possible reason that the feelings I had for you were not reciprocated.

Don't feel sorry for me, I used this as an example to prove that there are just some things that you have to leave behind. That sometimes a new year and a fresh start is just a second, third or fourth chance at finding someone who will make you happy in the next 365 days or more.

What an exciting thought that is.

12 Days of Christmas

Let's face it, there are some who have it, some who wish they did, and some who just aren't ready for it. Wherever you fall, Christmas can be a really annoying time if you aren't one of the people who have someone to show off to your extended family or kiss under the mistletoe.

So, I have decided to change up a Christmas song a little bit. First off, who in their right mind would want 10 lord a leaping or 11 pipers piping? I'll take the 5 golden rings though true love, you da best.


Almost at the mid-twenty mark (wah, wah, wah) I have decided to make my 12 days of Christmas about my friends, because they bring so much happiness to my life. Not a certain one, but all of them. Because I'm thankful for each one of them this Christmas. They may hate me for this, they may find it funny, either way...enjoy, and make sure you sing it or it probably wont make sense :)

On the first day of Christmas, Jen Dawn gave to me:
A baby in her belly.

On the second day of Christmas, Darnell gave to me:
Two 'Two Buck Chucks'

On the third day of Christmas, Haley gave to me:
Three years of laughing

On the fourth day of Christmas, Logan gave to me:
Four phone calls a day

 On the fifth day of Christmas, Walker gave to me:
Five apologies

On the sixth day of Christmas, Whitney gave to me:
Six nights of dancing

On the seventh day of Christmas, Natasha gave to me:
Seven shots for shooting

On the 8th day of Christmas, BMitch gave to me:
Eight Buckeyes Losing

On the 9th day of Christmas, Therese gave to me:
9 towering towers 

On the 10th day of Christmas, Taren gave to me:
10 reps of lifting

On the 11th day of Christmas, Dana gave to me:
11 could you nots?

On the 12th day of Christmas, Diana gave to me:
12 hours of driving


On the twelve days of Christmas my friends gave to me:
12 hours of driving
11 could you nots?
10 reps of lifting
9 towering towers
8 buckeyes losing
7 shots for shooting
6 nights of dancing
5 apologies
4 phone calls a day
3 years of laughing
2 'two buck chucks'
and a baby in jen's belly.


Damn, that was fun.
Merry (almost)  Christmas, ya filthy animals.

Why Settle For A Player When You Can Find The Perfect Teammmate?

I think that life is all about finding your teammate, the perfect person to motivate and slap you on the ass when you accomplish something. A recent conversation with my best guy friend got me thinking about the different kinds of relationships there are now a days. As my best friend, he knows me better than anyone probably, so I asked him a simple question. How have I met all of these guys who are attracted to me, have fun with me, love to be around me, but at the end of the day, don't want to 'be with me?' It took him a while to respond, trying to find the perfect words, to tell me the truth, but not piss me off. His reply was this:

"Well, I couldn't date you just because I know how I am, I'd end up hurting you, you'd hate me, and then we would no longer be friends. As for all of the other guys you've hung out, you might make it too easy."

This was his answer because come to find out, he really just has no idea, typical man. But the fact that he said easy, sparked my interest. I don't sleep around, so I was confused to why someone who knew that, would say that was the reason. But he meant it in an entirely different way. When I like someone, they usually know. I don't hold back my feelings, dodge phone calls, or wait hours to text back. I don't play the games that these men want to play, because honestly, I don't have time to. Between working and bettering myself, the last thing I want to do is worry about how long I should wait to call you, or if I should even call you at all.

I have always believed that if you are going to be in a relationship with someone, it should be easy. There should be no second guessing, no insecurities, just a good time between two people who are ready to kick ass together. I don't need someone to 'save' me, I am doing pretty well by myself, so if I am to get into a relationship with someone, I want it to be with a person who motivates me, and makes me better every day, not vise versa.

It makes me cringe to see couples who are miserable but stay together because they've dated for years so they feel like they are stuck. Or a girl who clings to the guy who constantly cheats on her because "she loves him too much to let go." Or the boy who stays with the girl who talks to a million other guys, because "she is just going through a phase." If things do not work out, that just means they weren't fit for your team, and that is okay. I used to be the girl who stayed with a guy who clearly hated me, and not only were we a shitty team, we had no team at all, which constantly had us losing at life every day.

Between the day that you are born and the day that you die, you will meet so many people who will  try out for your team. If you are honest and straight forward with them, let them know exactly what you are looking for, things will be easy, and you all will both be on the same page in every aspect of life. However, there will be some who try out, make the cut, but you end up having to let go because they turn out to not be the teammate you were looking for, just a really good player. Don't settle for the player, because somewhere out there is the perfect teammate.

Why Relationships Should Be As Easy As Friendships

I think dating is frustrating. I think getting to know someone, actually starting to care about them then months later finding out they just aren't into you is a vicious cycle and an emotional roller coaster. I wish defining someone as your significant other could be as easy as defining someone as your best friend, it just works.

My gal pals and I always joke around about how easy it was for us to fall in love with each other. Friendships are so easy to come by, they usually start with cocktails, and after discussing similarities and differences, you decide that the person you just met might actually be your new best friend. However, in my experience, when trying to find someone who I could actually see myself with, there is far more confusion than just going with the flow.


You can blow up your friends phone at all hours of the day and night and they know you are crazy, but love you that much more for it. If you even tried to double text the person you're interested in or even cross that line of actually calling them on the phone, you are a stage 5 clinger and they don't want to talk to you anymore.

With my friends, we can go out to dinner or drinks and have a constant flow of conversation. No awkward moments, and you don't even think twice about ordering that burger that you have been craving for weeks. The last time I went out to drinks with a datable prospect, I constantly questioned if what I was saying was the right thing. Also, when I get nervous I talk at 100 mph and my face gets red, and I sweat...and because of that, it's awkward.

People always say that the person you'll be with should be 'your best friend,' and I never understood it until I looked at the situation from this stand point.

With our friends we don't try to be something we aren't. We are who we are, and they love us anyway. With people we are trying to impress, we almost have to go through a series of job interviews and awkward moments just to finally get to a point where they kind of like us enough to stick around. Then you tell yourself you won't tell them about your annoying habit of asking too many questions and your obsession with New Girl until they are hooked, then you'll release the demons.

Wouldn't it be easier if we could just be in relationships like we are in friendships. I know my friends would do absolutely anything for me, and I know that they didn't think about leaving me because of that one time I got too drunk at the bar, or that other time that they had to hold my hair back while I hung shamelessly over a toilet. My friends embrace my flaws, and I embrace theirs, if we were perfect, what would we have to laugh at on any given day of the week? Friends are always there, through the good, the bad, the ugly and the inconvenient. Woudn't it be reassuring that your significant other would be too?

I'm sure a lot of you are going to think "Bonnie, this exists. Love exists. You'll find it one day. Be patient." I've heard it people, and I don't think I'll be single forever. However, I do think that there has to be an easier way to find someone that I am completely compatible with and somehow avoid all of the awkward moments, games, and insecurity/ trust issues that come with it.

An Open Letter About An 'Almost' Relationship

Writers Note: Don't read too far into my feelings, if you don't want to know what my feelings are. Believe it or not, this has nothing to do with me, I'm writing it for a friend. However, to say that I don't know what she is going through would be a lie, we have all been in an 'almost' relationship.


I remember when I first met you. From a distance, your baby blues caught my attention and I was hooked. I nudged my best friend next to me, nodded your way, and she gave me the go ahead and a confidence boost to come and talk to you. After that first conversation, after you told me about your family, your all too perfect job, your favorite hobbies and biggest pet peeves, I realized that you, this stranger at first, was everything that I hadn't been looking for. Your smile lit up a room and your laugh was addicting. You laughed at my jokes, whether you even really thought they were funny, I guess we will never know.

I go back to the night that I finally invited you into my apartment. It was several weeks later, after I had assured myself that you weren't like every other guy. I told myself that if you wanted to hurt me, you would have already. I am the kind of girl who doesn't let people in easily, not into my apartment, or into my heart. But you. You had something about you that led me to believe that you were "it." I dreamt about the day that I would introduce you to my dad, and smile at the thought of my brother actually liking  someone that I have dated. But 'dating' is such a weird word for our generation. It's almost like taboo. After several months of hanging out, and keeping eachother's secrets, one would think that we were what you would call, exclusive.

I remember lying in my bed, your back facing me, watching the snow fall outside my window. Not only was it cold outside, but it was even colder in my bed. The holiday season was coming up, and I thought, that this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce you to my family. The night before we were having dinner (drinks) I brought up something, that I quickly found out, I shouldn't have. The person sitting across from me, who I had shared so many moments with in the past several months, turned into a very, cold, human being. Someone that I have literally nightmared about since the last one wrecked havoc on my life. You had a blank expression on your face and said, "Oh, you think we are in a relationship?"

The thing is, I have zero expectations anymore. I am more surprised when a guy is nice to me, than when he isn't. But what I don't understand is why would you spend so much of your time with me, laugh with me, talk about the future with me, but...not really want to "be" with me. Would it be so bad to spend the next 6 months, how we have spent the last?

After our disagreement, you still chose to come over, and I still chose to give into you. I knew that things weren't going to be the same after that night, not because I didn't want them to be, but because I wasn't going to sit around and be some emotional filler for you. We are old enough to know what we want, or don't want, so it's easy for me to walk away from this situation, because I told myself that I would never let someone make me feel like I wasn't important, like I wasn't beautiful.

If I had my choice, I would choose you. If I had my choice, I would choose to spend the time that you aren't traveling in your arms. If I had the choice, I would do my best to be the girl that you could actually see yourself 'dating.' But instead, I don't really have a choice in the matter, since you are "too invested in your career" right now to discuss the situation at hand...and that is okay.

I'll be alright, I'll have wine with the girls, talk about how much I hate you even though I know that I really don't. I'll erase you from my life and move on, and hope that every now and then you'll think of my smile, or the way that I used to make you laugh when I'd dance around like a fool. I'm not an easy person to forget, and I know that. But I hope that whatever reason you had to not commit to me, to not be faithful to me...I hope that it was a damn good one.

...Or it's gonna go down in flames

Earlier today a friend called me at work asking for advice on her current dating situation. All too often, my friends turn to me for an encouraging word when it comes to love, but to be honest, I don't really have anything positive to say about a piece of shit who can't take a minute to text back someone who he's spent a great deal of his time with over the past few months. She had asked the guy a very brave question that has to be asked eventually , "are you my boyfriend?" After spending every day for four months together, you would think he would be able to give her a straight forward answer, instead...he ignored her.

The following are a few things, real life things, that were said by the scorned, confused, upset girl on the other side of the phone. Her and I did come to one conclusion though, and that was, that dating shouldn't be this damn hard. All of us have been there, and I am sure most of you all have had a conversation similar to this one.

"Don't read into my feelings if you don't want to know what my feelings are."
 In the dating world today, you spend time with someone, have drinks, watch your favorite shows, make out, hook up and without even realizing, you get to know them. However, when you start to think maybe, just maybe, things could possibly work out, someone bails. Someone freaks out at the thought of having feelings, and begins to over think everything. Oh, you made dinner tonight? Are you trying to marry me?

"I like him, I want to hang out with him, how the hell is that too much to ask?"
If you can spend hours with someone and not get annoyed or tired of talking or sleeping with them, why should we put any more thought into spending more time with them? Why do we self sabotage ourselves?


"I feel like he is either afraid that he is going to get hurt, or I am going to get hurt..but wtf."
If this is the case, he's a wimp. Life is all about falling in love with people, opportunities, places, things...there are no promises that any of these things wont hurt you, but it's all about making mistakes and learning from them.

"I think it would hurt and it would suck if we broke up, but it sure as hell would be fun while it lasted."
Way too many people think about the future instead of how they are feeling right then, in that moment. If it makes you happy now, go for it...because right now in this moment, you have nothing to lose.

"If you're going to just cut it off, then why start dating me in the first place, you idiot."
Good question.


"I think he thinks I want long term things, but you know what SIR, if you would've asked me about it you would know my preferences."
I'll never understand why women have to be so scared to actually admit that they want to be with someone, this world we live in right now sucks. If you like someone, and they obviously like you, then HOW can this be so hard. Some people spend their whole lives looking for someone that they can just get along with.

"I am adorable and I deserve some damn respect!"
She is adorable, in case you are wondering, and she is right. You can be the whole package, but if a man is scared of committing or not ready, you can't force him...


"I hope he knows that he's missing out on the worlds best...everything."
Oh I'm sure he knows, and if he doesn't now, he will later.

After a thirty minute phone call of trying to analyze and figure out what the hell is wrong with this man who won't take a few minutes out of his day to talk about his relationship status with a woman that he has openly and publicly been into for months. It sucks that we live in a time that commitment with one other person is a rare thing. It sucks that we spend more time trying to figure out what the opposite sex is thinking by looking at their social media accounts, than actually talking to them. It sucks that we can't just hang out and have fun with someone without things getting awkward when months down the road, you want to know how you should introduce him to your friends.

1990

If you know me at all, you know that I am a huge fan of Taylor Swift. My friends really aren't surprised anymore when they walk into my apartment and I'm jamming to Shake it Off and performing my own mini concert. Her latest album, 1989, is about how far she has come since she was born and what she has learned in the years leading up to the strong, independent woman that she has become in her twenties.

During your lifetime there will be experiences, adventures, and people  who form you into the person that you end up becoming. I'm sure that on February 26, 1990, when my brother and I were born only weighing 2 and 3 pounds, my mom had no idea what our futures held. I'm sure she had dreams of us becoming famous (I promise mom, it will happen sooner or later) and even bigger dreams of us being healthy, loving adults. As one of four, I can honestly say my parents have done something right, and not trying to be biased, but we all pretty much kick ass.

Taylor Swift was given a talent in which she could affect people in a positive way, through music. I was given the gift to do the same thing, but through writing. (Sometimes I like to believe that I am just as cool as her, just go with it.)




Growing up we all obviously have huge plans for ourselves. What kind of people would we be if we sat around and thought, "when I grow up I want to be homeless, unsuccessful, unloved, and poor." We all have dreams, big or small, and that is one of the reasons why I love meeting new people. With my job, I am able to interact with a wide variety of people. Some are as old as 95, others are as young as 3. What amazes me most is to sit down and talk to them, both so different in age, and to hear their thoughts about life, love, and happiness.

Last week I interviewed a 95 year old World War II veteran. While he didn't remember much because, "hell, there's 90 years of stuff in this head of mine," he did remember those events that made a huge impact on his life. His wedding day, where and when his two sons were born, what it felt like when he was hiding in a fox hole during the Battle of the Bulge, and the day that he retired with honors from the military. While I am sure that his life was full of other moments, those were the only things that he could remember with detail, and he told me it was because those were the times that he felt some type of extreme emotion.

This past summer when I would sit down with my niece Sarah, she would tell me all about her day, and at dinner time, she would usually tell me what her favorite part of the day was. If I was to ask her for any detail from the day before though, she would usually say, "Now Jo Jo, that was yesterday, I don't remember!" with her hands on her hip. However, you will catch her talking about last summer at my parents cabin, and all of the memories she made with family. She remembers burying a treasure box with Tomi Jean, hiking with Grandaddy, laughing with GiGi, and being thrown around by 'the strongest man ever,' Dexter. She remembers us fishing together, and her catching a way bigger fish than me. She remembers these things because those are the times that so far in her young life, that she has been the happiest and have felt the most love.

What I am getting at is, as we get older and go through life, there will be times that we remember when we are 95, and times that will slowly fade away. No matter what age though, I think that those times spent with the people that you love most, will be the ones that out shine any other memory that you make. Be smart when you choose who to give your heart and time to. Love your family, love yourself, and love someone who loves both of those things just as much as you do. Years down the road when you are looking back at your life, you will want to remember the good times, the times that made your heart skip a couple of beats, and make you take a step back and think how lucky you have been to live such a life full of love and happiness.


Also, just for a little comic relief and the fact that I just realized not too long ago that due to the way I was positioned in this picture, the door says dinomite ass. Throwing it back to 1995, when I was just a little girl with all kinds of crazy dreams, not much has changed, except for I wish I still had that shirt.

Four Things That We ALL Need To Stop Doing

I know I am not alone when I say that there are things in my every day life that I don't even understand why I have kept around as long as I have. I don't think that being 24 is old, but I do think that it is an age that you can start deciding to remove unwanted bull shit if it's not an asset to your life. Recently, I have found myself thinking about removing things that just exist in my life for no real purpose. This got me thinking about different things that I have kept close to me, which has lead to self sabotage. If you're with me on this, maybe we should all do a self cleanse.

Shitty 'Friends'
We all have them, hopefully you only have/had one. Shitty friends are the worst, and really hard to let go of. They are the people that take and take and take from you, but really give you nothing in return. It's not like they really add anything to your life, but you want them there, and the fact that they could care less to have you in theirs, makes it that much harder to understand. For however long that you let it go on, you pour your energy into these friendships hoping that one day, they'll realize how good of a friend you are to them. Spoiler alert, the thing that is so shitty about these friends, is that they are so self involved, that they don't even realize when there is something good in front of them. Unlike you, they don't find the people that they surround themselves with indispensable...they go through life, considering those people who put up with their shit, their friends. I used to think that friendships were all about quantity. That by the number of people that I had with me at all times somehow deemed me to be a better person. Quality, not quantity, has become very important to me in my friendship circle. While maybe at the end of the day I only have a handful of people I actually trust or care about, I know that those people would go just as far as I would for them, to have me in their life. That's important.

Cheap Alcohol
As I get older, it doesn't matter if I drink a little or a lot, if it is cheap and I put even a dab of it into my body, I will be hanging over a toilet for the next 24 hours. Cheap alcohol was okay in college when you were drinking every night and it's really all you could afford. However, you're an adult now, so if you walk into the company Christmas party with a case of Natti Light and Burnettes vodka, your coworkers will probably wonder why you haven't left your 21 year old self behind. Also, there is such a wonderful world out there of craft beers and distilled bourbon, there is no reason you should be limiting yourself that way. Thank me later.

Not enough time
I am guilty of this, but I am definitely working on it. To say that you don't have enough time to do something, is just an excuse because you really don't want to do it. I used to be the person who said she didn't have time to go to the gym, now I wake up at 5 a.m. An important thing that we should always make time for, and I am working on this myself, is time with family. Realize that if you are getting older, so are your parents, and grandparents, and that spending as much time with them as you possibly can is important, because one day you will wish that you did. It may be hard to actually drive to see them everyday, but atleast give them a phone call, I know that calling my parents 5 times a day annoys the hell out of them, but secretly they love it...and if they don't well, sorry Mom and Dad. :)

Settling for less than butterflies and all that romance stuff
WHY. I don't think I'll ever understand people who get into relationships because they are "bored." First off, when I am bored I go for a run, read a book, watch a movie...not just lead someone on because hey, it seems like a fun thing to do at the time. WHAT. So many of my friends tell me, "I mean I'm not really into them now, but I'm sure once we are together for a few months it'll grow on me." This is when I look at them blankly and think what the actual hell. I am all for love stories. You wouldn't know it but I secretly obsess over romance novels and movies. I can't get enough of the whole love at first sight, i'll do anything for you type thing. I think it's so magical, and I know that it exists. So, what I don't understand is why people believe that they aren't good enough for that. Because settling for someone that isn't everything you have ever dreamed of, well you are pretty much telling yourself, "hey sorry self, you can't meet your own expectations, you literally suck, have fun being miserable."

Let's all take a step back and look at our lives. Are their people or things consuming your every negative thought? Let it go. It sounds cliche, but life is way too short for all the extra bull shit. We are all trying to make it in this crazy world, trying to survive, and make ourselves better people. How are we supposed to do any of that if we keep allowing ourselves to not take on every day at our full potential?

Mr. Right Now

Writers note: I wrote this after drinking a bottle of Sutter Home White Zinfandel, if there are any grammatical errors or anything that offends you, I truly apologize.

There is always someone who gives you 'butterflies.' Whether it was the man in front of you at Starbucks this morning, the guy you met on Tinder yesterday, or maybe a boyfriend you've had for several months now. As humans, we are all set out for three things, happiness, romance and fun. 

Just a few months shy of 25, I will be the first to share that I have had my fair share of "Mr. Right Now's." As I have gotten older I have realized that my age has coorelated the men/boys that I have chosen over the years, and looking back, I don't regret a single one.

Sometimes, I feel so thankful to have met my first, second and third love all between the ages of 17 and 23. Because of this, by the age of 24, I have become more aware of what I want in the man that I intend to marry. Marriage, woof. That word literally makes me want to puke right now, not because I'm not ready, but because so many of my friends are.

At 17, he was the guy I stood on the sideline and cheered for at football games. The guy I sat next to in the church pew on Sunday mornings, spent almost everyday with his family, and got to really know him, without the interference of alcohol or social media. At 17, I experienced a lot of firsts, but that was what he was put in my life for. To show me that if a boy can love as much as he did, a man is bound to love a little more.

At 21, I met the right guy at the wrong time. Loved him, loved his family, loved his dogs, loved his truck...at 21, what else did you really need to love? He took me out on romantic dates to look at stars in the back of his truck, wanted to show me off to all of his friends, and every time he saw me, his face would light up. He once told me after I kissed him goodnight, that "he knew I was the one because before I left him at night, I'd hug him like I would never see him again." As all Mr. Right Now's do, he decided to live out his dream with someone else.

At 23, I fell in love with a guy under neon lights, and after way too many fireball shots and him telling me that I was pretty, I had found my new Mr. Right Now. This guy, is what you would call my college sweetheart. He literally made life more fun, but at the same time, we were so toxic for each other, it made all of our friends hate us. I loved him for all of the wrong reasons, as he did the same. Mr. Right Now's tend to do that.

I am fortunate enough to know the difference between the two. Between the guy I want to take home to meet my family, and the guy I want to take home to meet my roommate, who literally loves everyone. 

After being single for 2 years, I have started to realize how important it is to not settle. So many of us find someone who pacifies our time, maybe makes us laugh, or gets us off every now and then, but what about the long run? What about the guy who will look at you, even on your sickest days, and be ready to stand by your side. 

I see so many of my friends in relationships that, 5 times out of 10, they don't really want to be in. (Side note: I do have some friends who really are happily in love.) But what I am getting at, is that it really shouldn't be that complicated. Whether they are your Mr. Right Now, Mr. Four Months or Mr. Forever.

So You Want To Be A Rock Star?

When you are a child everyone around you tells you that you should have no limitations, that you can be whoever you want to be when you grow up. So, at a young age we start to rack our brains. At the age of five we want to be an astronaut or the President, or maybe even Super Man. Then as you hit the awkward stage of puberty, you tell everyone that you want to be a race car driver or an actor/actress so that they'll maybe stop looking at your braces and crazy hair and see that you have a potential future. By the time you reach high school you start being more realistic, thinking that maybe a lawyer or a teacher will do, and that's what you'll go to college for.

For me, I think I always knew I wanted to be a writer. There was a point in time in middle school where I was taller than every other girl in my grade, so I told myself that I could totally be a model... that was short lived.

We go to college, and we get these degrees, and we see ourselves graduating and getting amazing jobs and becoming this well educated adult with their whole life together. However, in college, the one thing they stop telling you is that you can be whatever you want to be when you graduate. It's a lot harder than they lead you on to believe, and sometimes even if you do go to school for all of those years, there is a chance that you still might not get a job in the field that you want, which is total bull shit if you ask me.

However, there is one day that you can set aside all of your broken dreams and actually become something that you aren't. Without a degree, without tears and sweat, you can be anyone you want to be and nobody can turn you down. This is the reason I love Halloween.

For one night, you can slip into an identity that you secretly have always wanted to have. You can walk out of your door dressed in a uniform, or lack there of, with full confidence knowing that for the night, you have become something out of your normal, 8-5 desk clerk.



You could dress up as a millionaire and nobody is going to point out that you actually over drew your account last week. You can dress up as a vampire and people will think that you are out to suck their blood. You could get in touch with your inner super star and be a Spice Girl, or Hugh Hefner, and nobody will point out the fact that you can't sing or you aren't capable of taking care of 1 woman, let alone ten.

If everyday was Halloween, we'd stop listening to the things that we aren't capable of doing, and without hesitation, become it. 

7 First Dates You'll Go On Before You Settle Down

Chances are you didn't fall in love with the first person you met and live happily ever after. If you did, good for you, but you're missing out on a lot of fun, crazy, people that lead to some pretty amazing stories to tell. The fun part about being in your twenties is that you can date anyone you want without your parents doing a background check or investigating their family tree first.You have the opportunity to meet someone who is exactly like you, or someone who makes you consider the being single for life thing. There are quite a few first date scenarios that you can find yourself in, and from personal experience some are good and some you just kind of want to look up into the sky and whisper to God, "But, why?"


The One Who Is Too Plugged In
You haven't even finished your first drink and they have been on their phone non stop. Live tweeting the funny joke you just said, showing you their most recent tinder matches, reading aloud an email that they "just couldn't believe," showing you their most recent score in fantasy football, updating their facebook status to dinner date hashtag happy, smiley emoji. They are so in tune with their new Iphone 6, they probably couldn't even tell you the color of your eyes.

Hey I Just Met You, and I May Be Crazy
Tell me every person you have had sexual interest in within the last 5 months? Are you talking to anyone other than me right now? What alcohol would make you want to go home with me later? Do you watch porn? My last girlfriend/boyfriend was crazyyy. Do you have daddy issues? My favorite show is South Park, but The Simpsons is a close second. I wear a wedding ring to bars to pick up love interests. Can I see your recent call log?

I'm Yelling Tinder
You meet up with this person at a local bar because you swiped right and they were attractive so why not? This is how relationships work these days right? Good luck with this one.

The Friend Of A Friend
Your friends know you better than anyone and they want to hook you up with someone that would be just perfect for you. They know exactly what makes you tick, they know what you like, dislike, and know all about the many dates that you have been on that have been an epic fail. So when your friends say they have a friend that they would like you to meet, go for it. This date actually turns out pretty awesome.

The One Upper
You will eventually go out with someone that no matter what you say, they have done that exact same thing but ten times better. Oh you can make buffalo chicken dip? I won an award for mine once, So you crossfit? Ha, I can lift a car. You'll either need to excuse yourself to the restroom and dip out the back door on this one, or grin and bear it then pretend that you don't speak english the next time they message you.

The Facebook Messenger
You're probably thinking, who actually goes out with someone that messages them on Facebook, good question, but I did once. The person ended up drinking too much, accusing me of cheating on them (I had just met them 3 hours prior) and yelled at me in the middle of the bar, proceeding to tell me that he was going to kick my door down if I didn't leave with him. Needless to say, I didn't leave the bar, and when I got home that night with my friends he was passed out in front of my apartment door. He apologized the next day via facebook to me and all of my friends. This is a true story.

The Date You Never Want To End
These are fun. It's like you'd rather sit there and hear about their whole life than sit on your couch alone, binge watching netflix, which is a huge step up from where you have been.   You all have a lot in common, they are funny, and they don't give off a super creepy vibe. You then reassure yourself that dating isn't so bad and that there are actually some pretty decent people still out there. Thank God.

Being single is supposed to be the time that you meet a variety of different people, grow as a person yourself, and not necessarily settle down, but become one step closer to finding someone that you could enjoy spending more time with outside of a bar or restaurant. Crazy to think about, but sooner or later, after all the people you meet, you'll meet an alright one that will prove to you that not all people are completely bat shit.

Baggage Claim

You're standing in the middle of an airport, anxious and full of anticipation as each bag passes you by. A part of you hopes that maybe your baggage would get lost somewhere in between where you were and where you are going. People surround you, some smiling, some crying, some pissed and just ready to get to the closest bar so they can order their Basil Hayden on the rocks. You think to yourself, if everyone lost their baggage, if this claim never existed, would this be a happier place?

Everyone has events, feelings or people from their past that rise to the surface at inconvenient times. You do your best to hide the things that have troubled you. With the kind of 'stuff' that you carry around from place to place, it's a wonder of how you just haven't lost your mind.

Maybe a loved one betrayed you. Maybe it's a family member, significant other or friend, and since then, you have trouble trusting anyone who says they will be good to you. Maybe you have experienced situations more physical, leaving you scared and alone and sometimes non-existent. Maybe you were left by a friend, abandoned by a parent, or rejected from a crowd you yearned to be a part of.

The human mind is powerful, more powerful than I think any of us give it credit for. It can remember dates, specific scents, or even a strangers voice. The human mind, with your permission, can either help you or destroy you.

Imagine starting out your life with an empty suitcase. As a child, so happy and free, you could go anywhere with that thing, you could even hide in it when playing 'hide and go seek,' because the emptiness of that suitcase provided so many opportunities for you. As the years pass, and you start actually growing, learning, and experiencing, you start storing things away. You don't want to talk to anyone about how much pain you are in, so you store your feelings away in this suitcase, hoping that one day it'll all just go away. When you reach your twenties, you find yourself trying to explore new things, travel, meet new people and become the person that you ultimately want to be as an adult. However, there is one big problem.

The emotional suitcase that you've carried around is finally starting to drag you down. You find yourself emotionally and physically drained. Your only solution to be able to find real happiness and freedom is to rid of the suitcase and the junk that fills it.

When you are one of the lucky people to be able to live another day, you have a choice to make when you wake up in the morning. You can either continue to be weighed down and sad by the events of your past, or let everything go and find happiness.

I don't know about you all but I choose happiness. Leave your baggage at the claim, and move forward. You'll be surprised in the doors that will open for you when you don't have something constantly weighing you down.

Four Different Things You'll Be In Your 20s

They say your twenties are the years that you learn the most about yourself. They say that you'll experience love, hate, adventure, brokenness....they say that you bounce back from all of them. They say not to give up, to keep on going. They say that no matter what, don't wish for the future, because it'll be here way too fast.

As a 'twenty-something' year old myself, I have learned that there are many of us who are the same age, but at totally different spots in our lives. Some people you will be able to relate to, some people you won't. However, the thing that we all have in common, is that we are just trying to figure out who the hell we actually are.

The Broken Workaholic

You've been hurt, and not by someone that you got over a week later. You were hurt by someone that you loved with every fiber in your body, you thought that you were going to marry them, you thought that the money you were saving was going to go towards your dream wedding, your honeymoon, or maybe your future children. Then one day you woke up and without warning, they left you. They left, and moved on faster than you ever imagined moving on. You tried sleeping the pain away, but when that didn't work, you buried yourself in the only thing else that you loved...your career. You started working early mornings and late nights, then found yourself years later, still working, just to keep the pain away.

The One to Wed

You found them. You knew it would happen in your twenties but you didn't know when. You met them at a coffee shop, in a bar, or bumped into them in your favorite authors aisle at the bookstore. You met, you matched, and you knew that there was no more wondering about your biological time clock, because you had found the one, right there in your twenties. They make you laugh, but even better, they laugh at your jokes. You smile because it's everything that you had ever wished for, but more. You tell everyone how much your best friend means to you and how you cannot wait to spend the rest of your lives with them. You find yourself, flipping through wedding magazines, lining up your bridal party, and pinning an obnoxious amount because you have waited for this day for atleast the past 10 years.

The One with One on the way

You're scared. You're happy. You're emotional, but can't believe that you have something so crazy and beautiful inside of you. You were timid to tell anyone at first because what would they think, you're only in your twenties. Was it too soon? Or were you technically behind everyone else. You find yourself thinking of names, forwards and backwards, inwards and outwards, and day dreaming about clothes, colors of the nursery and even what sports they'll play when they get older. You are glowing, your significant other is glowing. You're young, but being 'twenty-something' is old. You're ready. You start budgeting for diapers, for formula, and you start planning what your life will be like just a few months away.

The one who will plan on having a glass of wine but drinks the whole bottle 

You're single, and the only steady relationship you have is with your netflix account. You don't necessarily hate it though. You enjoy being alone, listening to indie music and dancing around in your socks and underwear when you get home at night. You plan on only drinking a glass of wine, then Nick and Jess break up on New Girl, so you obviously had to reason with this. You look around and you see everyone getting married, or starting a family, or taking off in their dream job, and you sometimes feel like maybe you don't have life figured out yet. Sometimes you feel left behind, like that maybe you aren't worthy of a happiness like that. However, other times, you love that you can lay sideways in your bed and not worry about someone snoring to keep you awake. You aren't sure what you want, but you enjoy taking it day by day, it'll all fall into place one day, right?

We are all so different, but all the same. We think that rushing through life, meeting these milestones are so important at a certain age, but we all age differently. There is no specific age that one has to be to buy a dog, have a baby, get a ring on their finger, or be VIP at their favorite bar. I think we all just need to be a little bit easier on ourselves, because let's be honest, we have no idea what we are really doing.

Shake It Off

Last night I decided to change my alarm so that when it went off at 5:15 a.m. I wouldn't want to throw it across the room. I wanted to change it to something so that when I woke up from my slumber, I'd automatically want to dance. Naturally, I downloaded T Swifts new song.

I'm sure everyone has heard it, and if you haven't then you really are missing out on one of the greatest songs made recently. Taylor has made a point to let everyone know that she really could care less what they think about her, and she encourages us all to do the same.

This morning when my alarm went off, I didn't hit snooze. I tossed back the covers and sang to myself, "and the haters gunna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate."

Little did I know, that song was going to get me through the next 12 hours at my job. The commute to Richmond wasn't bad, I listened to the morning gossip on the radio as I sipped on my gas station hazelnut coffee blend that I had to put ice cubes in just so I could drink. I got to work early so I could get a head start on my work so that I could have an easy Friday...because I mean really, who doesn't love an easy Friday.

My day was going great, I wrote an article on Corey Kenton, a country music singer from Madison County, and interviewed a Breast Cancer survivor to feature in tomorrow's paper. Then, my coworker came in and informed me about a man that was at the meeting she had just left asking for me. A little side note-last week I was at a city forum meeting and a man approached me accusing me of not taking my job seriously. He said I looked bored in the meetings and that I wasn't taking notes. I really wanted to say, it's 2014, I use a recorder not a notebook, and in a 2 hour meeting who really looks excited?...But I refrained from saying anything, smiled, nodded and gave him a firm hand shake before I left the room. I never caught his name, because he said 'It wasn't important.' 

After the second time this man without a name accused me of not taking my job seriously, I asked him if he had seen any problems in my articles, and if he had to please point them out to me so that I can do better in the future for not only him, but the whole community. He had no complaints, except for the way that I did my job.

For those who know me I am a very outspoken person, but I have gotten better. I know that I enjoy my job, my boss thinks I am 'top notch,' and the people who read the forums and meetings that I cover have not complained. So why did one guy make me think twice about my career choice? (He said that 'he knew' I didn't want to be a journalist, which makes me LOL still.) 

I am really not bothered by the words that this man has said to me or my coworker in the past couple of weeks, I just think that it's crazy that he feels entitled to tell me how to do my job, especially if he can't even tell me his name. I have learned a lot about life while being a journalist, but the most important thing that I have learned is you just have to shake. it. off.

So today, I turned up Taylor Swift, did a hair flip, and prepared for an event that I will cover tonight. I hope I don't look too bored.

Never The Wife, Always The Mistress

I am sure that being in a relationship is one of the hardest things that someone can do in this point in time. There are so many options. If your significant other upsets you one day, you could just log into "insert one of the million of social networking possibilities" and find someone else to pacify your time until the one you are with stops being so 'crazy.' In my opinion though, being single is a lot more challenging.

There was once a time when I thought that love was a thing. That if you 'found the right person' then the rest of your life would somehow fall magically into place. In the last year, I have realized that this whole being in a relationship thing isn't what it's all cracked up to be.

Now, I am sure that some of you are going to read this and think that I am just a bitter 24 year old girl, which is half true. But since the last 'boyfriend' I had two years ago, being on the market has lead me to believe that nobody will ever be satisfied. Whether it's because they are selfish, insecure, or all of the above.

'Never the wife, always the mistress,' came to my mind when I thought about my relationship status in the past two years. It's not that extreme, I don't break up homes or sleep with people who are married. However, for some reason, I'm the girl the guys with the 'perfect' girlfriends call when they are having an off day. I'm the kind of girl that believes that I shouldn't have to wreck a home to have a relationship though, so I carry on with my day like these phone calls never happen. BUT, what about the girls who aren't like me? What about the girls who act on the phone calls and late night texts and stroke the so called 'mans' ego?

I have heard it all. Those who cheat, men and women both, are really good at what they do. It's like an art almost. They know how to have their cake and eat it too, which is impressive. I've been on both sides of the fence, I know how this works. 

I was once the girlfriend who put everything into a relationship, and was so blind at the thought of 'love' that I didn't see him sleeping with 3 girls behind my back. I mean, I didn't want to be the girl that was paranoid about guys nights...but maybe I should've been. 

I have also been the single, free spirit with a wild heart girl that when the road gets a little bumpy, and their love life gets a little boring, they call me because 'I know how to have fun.'

I don't want to be either one of those girls, though. I don't think anyone does. Life is already hard enough. We have to pay bills, stay fit, have a social life, overcome fears, work our ass off just to have a little fun...we shouldn't have to worry if the person we come home to every night is thinking about someone else when we aren't looking.

But, I guess that's just the way it is.

Happy Hump Day.

-

"Finding Pleasure In All Their Simple Joys, Remembering Her Own Child-Life, And The Happy Summer Days...”

Tonight I turned on my favorite country station and began to pack my bags to head back to Kentucky. Tomorrow is my last day in Colorado and I can't help but think how fast time has gone since I have been here. I folded up my Spartan Finisher shirt and smiled, thinking back to my very first Sunday in the Springs, and held the medals in my hand that I had won that day...traces of dried mud still remained. It's a bittersweet feeling.  I came out to Colorado accomplishing so much. I learned new things about myself and built a stronger relationship with God and my sister and her beautiful family. As my time here comes to an end I feel thankful and blessed along with so many other emotions.

Today as Diana recovers from getting her wisdom teeth taken out, I had a 'Jo Jo and girls' day with Sarah and Carolyn. I surprised them and took them to a magic show, then took them to play in the fountain at the park and ended our little girls day with ice cream from Cold Stone. Needless to say, they were two pretty happy girls.

Since we were young Diana and I have always been partners in crime. I think that my favorite part about my trip to Colorado is that I have grown and become a better person because of my older sister. As we get older we have friends who come and go. Old friends, new friends, coworkers, the guy whose cubicle is right next to yours, the woman who says hi to you every morning at Starbucks...every person we meet in our life has an impact on us. However, there is no kind of impact, like the one from a sister. A sister who has seen me at my worst, and now at my best...she has been by my side no matter what and has always reassured me that things do in fact get better. She hasn't guided me wrong yet.

I have used a lot of Alice in Wonderland quotes in this blog series because I feel like we can all relate to Alice in one way or another. Just as her life is full of good and bad choices, so are ours. However, as the story goes Alice learns her lesson and ultimately becomes a better person. I want everyone to take the challenge that I did. I want you to take chances, make choices whether they are good or bad and learn from them. I challenge you to dust off your moral compass and go for an adventure. Find pleasure in the simple things and be thankful for the times you get to spend with your family, friends and yourself.

See you soon, Kentucky. :)

Jeremiah 29:11

Happiness.

Some people have it, others spend their whole lives looking for it. Happiness isn't hard to obtain, you just have to have faith.

Today my eyes filled with tears as I watched my oldest niece put all of her trust in God. Today, Sarah was baptized. She climbed into the baptismal with a smile on her face, and as she was emerged under water the church in unison said, "Bye Sarah!" When brought back above water, smiling ear to ear, she was glowing with happiness. I was proud of her for making such a big decision at a young age, but I think I was more proud of the fact that she could tell you exactly why she wanted to get baptized. After church Carolyn went up to Sarah and said "I am so proud of you." 

There is one thing that I pride myself and Diana for and that is if there is ever anything negative to happen, we see it as an opportunity to make it into something positive. This morning we woke up as we have for the past month to attend our 8 a.m. yoga class. When we got to the gym, the instructor had forgot her key, which meant we wouldn't have been able to do yoga in the room that we usually practice in. Diana and I exchanged looks and proposed an outdoor yoga class in the America The Beautiful Park. Instead of going on with our day without a yoga class, we ended up having one of the best yoga classes I have experienced. With fresh air, a cool breeze and pretty much mastering our arm balances, we walked out of the park this morning radiating nothing but happiness.

 

The other day Diana and I were talking about everything that we have learned from each other since I got out here. Coming into my last week in Colorado Springs, I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I think that not only will I come out of this a better person, but also someone that is no longer scared to try new things. I started thinking earlier about this whole "finding myself in my twenties" thing. When I decided to come to Colorado a couple of months ago I was set out to figure out what exactly I wanted in life, who exactly I was. Exactly a month later, I have decided that I don't really want to be 'found.' In the past month I have stepped completely out of my comfort zone and have done things I never thought I would do. When you play hide and seek, the thrill of this simple game is searching. Once you are found, the game is over. I have decided that I am in love with the thrill of seeking. I will no longer hide from things that I am scared of but keep on searching because God has a plan for me. He has plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. As long as I believe that, as long as I have faith in him, happiness will prevail.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Started From The Bottom, Now We're Here

Today was a day full of memories. I put on my American Flag shirt in honor of Memorial Day, laced my tennis shoes and headed to the Manitou Incline, to do something I should've finished a couple of years ago. If you ask anyone that is close to me they will tell you I am a completely different person than I was two years ago, and I would whole heartedly agree. At 22 I was in and out of a toxic relationship with a guy I thought had hung the moon. Being too naive to see that he was bringing me down instead of up, I held on to what I thought was something good for me. Everyone around me saw that I was slowly losing myself in the thought of someone else, so my dad packed my bags and him and I came to Colorado Springs to visit Diana for a week in November. That week I was glued to my phone waiting for a phone call I never ended up getting. My dad and sister tried everything to get the 'young, wild and free' Bonnie back so they decided to take me to the Manitou Incline. I was so consumed with everything that I had left back in Kentucky I didn't care about putting any energy into anything, after all every bit of my energy was invested in him. As they hiked the incline, I sat at the bottom defeated in more ways than one.

Two years later I wouldn't have recognized that girl. Today as I got to the top of the incline I smiled because I knew at that moment that I am a stronger person now than I have ever been.

   

Loving and believing in yourself is one of the most important things that you can do. We have all been there. At one point in our lives we have let someone else dictate the way that we feel about ourselves and those around us. We have let someone tell us that we aren't good enough, that we aren't pretty enough, that we aren't strong enough, and we believed them. Then one day, you wake up and realize that you are everything that you thought you weren't.

                                 

Finishing the Incline with Diana and the two girls was something I will always remember. Sarah practically ran the entire thing, and Carolyn had to take a few more breaks but for a four year old she made it to the top so well that everyone was talking about how resilient the girls were. It makes me so happy that Diana is raising her girls to believe that they are awesome, that they are strong, and beautiful and inspiring. Nothing is impossible to them, and it makes me smile to see them turning into such amazing young ladies.

“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." <3

Living Life One Check Mark To The Next

Two Saturdays from now I will be on my way home to Kentucky! This morning after a Team WOD at Crossfit with Diana I thought to myself, "Who is going to do this crazy stuff with me once I get back home?"

It's weird to think that I lived my life any other way than I have been for the past few weeks. Just by living a healthy lifestyle I am happier, I feel better, and I no longer worry about things that I can not control. One thing, however, that I can control is the way that I look and feel about myself. 

It has been a battle. There have been days that I have wanted to give up right in the middle of dead lifts or what feels like a thousand burpees, but I haven't and I don't plan on it.

Diana, Tomi Jean, Dexter and I have signed up for our first race together once we get back! It is all for fun, but it is the first thing that us kids have done together in a long time. The Tap N Run in Louisville is June 14th and we will be dressing up as 'Walking Holidays.' I am really excited that not only am I doing it with my favorite people, but we are going to look awesome AND there is beer at every mile marker...plus you get a cool medal at the end of the race that is also a beer opener. Talk about a double whammy!

For Memorial Day Diana, the girls and I are hiking the Manitou Incline...if you aren't sure what that is, check it out.

It climbs 2,000 vertical feet over Manitou Springs, and is one of the most challenging hiking trails in Colorado. My parents have successfully made it to the top when they have come out to visit, so now it is my turn! I am really excited to mark this one off my bucket list!

My Colorado bucket list is getting smaller and once the last thing is marked off I will be bringing out the next one to start back in Kentucky....living life one check mark to the next. :)

Woe Is Me?

I guess you could say I have the case of the Mondays. Half way through my time in the Springs and I am starting to freak out a little bit about what path I should take when I return to Kentucky. Since January I have told myself that God has a plan for me. I pray that he will guide me in the right direction and open doors in my life. I'm not losing faith in his plan, because I know that if I trust in him then doors will open, but if you know me...I lack patience.

Have you ever played Mario World and end up in the room with 7 doors surrounding you? Depending on which one you open there is either a surprise or a tragedy behind the closed doors. Not knowing which one is which, you go with your gut and pick.

In a perfect world, not in Mario World, all of those doors would open and have exactly what you were looking for behind it. In 'Bonnie's World' I'm standing in a room surrounded by doors, throwing my hands up in the air because I just want them all to open and everything fall perfectly into place.

Have I lost you yet? If so, bare with me.

They say that doors open and close in your life for different reasons. I actually think I have said this on multiple occasions. However, I also believe that if you work hard, then you should be rewarded. I'm in the summer of my 24th year. A year out of college, spending every night sending out resumes, making phone calls, and networking so that I can begin and keep on pursuing what I want to do, which is write.  The closest thing I have to a relationship is my date with the gym after a work day...a year out of college and into the 'real world' and nothing really makes sense.

Woe is me?

There will be days like this. There will be days that I'll be discouraged and ready to give up. There will be days that I think that I need to change my career. There will be days that I ask myself why am I not dating anyone. The good thing is...these days are few.

The first night that I went to the church here in Colorado Springs the preacher started a new series called 'Writing A New Story.' Which was pretty ironic, don't you think? In the last sermon he told the story of David and Goliath. David is successful not because he is the better warrior, because he clearly was the underdog, David doesn't win for any reason other than the fact that he knows whose story it really is.

"Gods story through me is better than any story mine will ever be."

I have been trying to write my own story, trying to live life the way that I think it should be. God has another plan...and no matter how long it might take for that plan to become clear, I have faith that it is far better than the one that I would write for myself.

All of your problems may seem as big as Goliath, but live for God and you can overcome anything. Always have faith.

You Can Take The Girl Out Of The Country, But You Can't Take The Country Out Of The Girl

Last night instead of slipping into our yoga pants and going for a run, we decided to paint the town red.  When Diana asked me where I wanted to go, I asked if there was a 'honky tonk' in Colorado Springs. The next thing I know, David, Diana and I were walking into a place called Cowboys.

Being from Kentucky, I thought I knew what a 'honky tonk' was, turns out I had no clue. Every song had its own line dance...every line dance had cowboys. These cowboys wore the tight jeans, flannel shirts, boots, authentic cowboy hats and had the moves to prove that they knew exactly how to giddy up.

The gentleman above took time out of his night to teach me how to line dance. Hours of 'right, left, right' and twirling later I felt like I needed to have my boots on too. No matter where you are from or where you go, there will always be a place that reminds you of home. 

We didn't know a single person in that place last night yet we had the best time with each other. We laughed, sang, danced, and acted like there wasn't a care in the world. It's important to do that sometimes. It's important to get dressed up, to feel pretty, to drink fireball like you're 21. It's important to learn how to dance from strangers and act 100% like yourself because who cares what anyone else thinks. It's important to make memories, spend time with family and laugh so hard you wish you would've worn waterproof mascara. 

"Life's a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow."

Good, Better, Best, Never Let It Rest...

Whenever I am in the middle of a workout and I think I am too tired to finish, or begin to write and suffer from a block, I think back to what my brother used to tell me every time I would complain about something being too hard.

"Good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is your better and your better is your best."

No matter what my family has always motivated one another to go that extra mile. Dexter doesn't believe in quitting, Diana doesn't believe in the word can't, Tomi Jean believes that if you dream it you can achieve it, my mom has always been right beside all of us as the head cheerleader when we feel like giving up, and my dad makes sure to give us a little tough love which results in us working harder. 

Without them, my own personal cheering section, I probably wouldn't be writing. I wouldn't be a 'finisher' of a Spartan Race. I wouldn't have believed that I could pack my bags and take off to Colorado. I wouldn't have went to college. I wouldn't believe in myself.

One of the biggest lessons that I have learned is that surrounding yourself with people who believe in you makes the world of difference. I once was someone who thought that having 'X' amount of friends was important. Now I know that having a handful of good people who support my crazy ideas and sometimes even take part in them are the ones who I need to have by my side, in my cheering section. 

You are only as strong, smart, happy, or beautiful as you believe that you are. Once you begin to realize that you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to. Then and only then will your good become your better and your better...your best.